Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B- | 2 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Need To Exfoliate More

Dean makes fun of him for keeping in touch with his college buddies, and asks what he tells them. Sam responds that he just says he's on a road trip. Dean takes out his Gavel of Morality to pound on the desk and quips, "So you lie to them?" I officially could not give a shit about either of their moral codes. Dean tells Sam that he understands him not wanting to tell his friends the truth. Sam then demands to know whether he's supposed to cut all his friends out of his life. Dean just shrugs, and Sam takes off his IPEX panties, wads them up, and throws them in Dean's face.

Pianos start plinking, indicating to the boys that they need to put an end to this boring conversation. Sam obeys and expresses concern over the email he's been reading for ten minutes. Seems his friend Rebecca's brother Zach has gotten arrested for murdering his girlfriend. Dean wonders what kind of friends Sam has, but Sam protests that Zach is definitely no killer. Dean's Gavel of Morality comes down thunderously again: "Yeah, well maybe you know Zach about as well as he knows you." Sam insists that they have to get to St. Louis, but Dean reminds him that St. Louis is four hundred miles behind them. Dean has a rather cartoonish understanding of distance out west. Cut to the Metallicar screeching out of the filling station and heading back the way it came, running a stop sign just as the camera pans in on a sign declaring "Drive Safe, America!"

A door opens to reveal Sam and Dean standing on a doorstep. A blonde, mayhaps the one that will have such trouble with the blood and the knives later, answers the door and soap-acts, "Oh my God, Sam!" He gives her a flirty hello, to which she responds in kind. Clearly very concerned over her wrongfully accused brother. Dean introduces himself, and she invites them into the McMansion. It's her parents' house; she had been visiting for "the long weekend" when her brother decided to go all Scott Peterson on his girlfriend. She's decided to stay until Zach gets out of jail. Her parents live in Paris half the year and are on their way back to Missouri as we sit here and snooze during all this exposition. She offers them beer; Dean responds with the cutest grin and a "Hey!" but Sam refuses.

Blondie gives us the scoop: her brother came home and found his girlfriend beaten up and not breathing. He called the police and got arrested. The police have a security video showing him coming home that night at 10:30 PM, shortly before the chick got the axe. But Blondie insists that her brother had been with her having a few beers until midnight that night. Sam thinks they should take a look at the crime scene. Blondie is confused as to why her pre-law friend would want to do that, so Sam stutters that he can't do much to help but that Dean is a cop. Dean flashes a cheesy grin and says he's a detective in Bisbee, AZ. Blondie vacillates, but Sam tells her they have to prove Zach's innocence. She finally lets up. And let's take a moment here to gaze in quiet awe at Sam's hair. It looks like he's wearing some sort of Viking winged helmet, except made of hair, not metal. As Blondie leaves to get her keys, Dean saunters around giving Sam a hard time. Dean -- BIG SURPRISE -- doesn't think this case bears looking into. Sam reminds him what Blondie said about Zach being in two places at once and says they've looked into less. I think they should look into what demon has taken over Sam's hairdryer to make his hair do what it's doing.

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