Supernatural
Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 1040 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Sound Like Sensible Fucking Men

...Ridiculously Rustic Basement, where Patty and Cathy are still sniping away at each other. It's actually a pretty enjoyable exchange, considering how often we've seen similar scenes already on this show, but we really don't learn anything new -- aside, of course, from the fact that Actual Bobby is also a fan of Robert Browning -- so let's cut to the chase: As Actual Bobby threatens LeviaBobby with that machete again, something drips through the floorboards above to land on LeviaBobby's arm, where it proceeds to eat a gaping black hole right through LeviaBobby's skin! "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Get it off me!" LeviaBobby roars as more of the stuff drips down to chew through his face. "Get it off me!" Actual Bobby races upstairs, where he finds Sheriff Jody mopping up an accidental cleaning spill with a dishrag. He immediately plants a sloppy wet one on her shocked and appalled lips, then pulls away to demand, "What the hell was in that bucket?" Sheriff Jody gawps.

Polk County Sheriff's Department. At the elderly sheriff's orders, a handful of deputies frog-march Our Authentic Idiots into different rooms.

Meanwhile, the LeviaTwins lurk outside in the false Impala, waiting until just the right moment to ambush a couple of unsuspecting deputies as they get off shift. DUN!

Back indoors, one of the brand-new LeviaDeputies strolls on up to an unsuspecting colleague and unleashes a barrage of crappy CGI at the audience in general before disappearing into this evening's next METAL TEETH CHOMP!

Polk County Sheriff's Department. Actual Dean pleads with the sheriff to allow him one phone call to Bobby. The sheriff evidently relents, because the next thing we know, we've...

...rejoined Bobby down in The Ridiculously Rustic Basement, where we find him examining the now-headless and thoroughly charred remains of what had once been his Leviathanically enhanced doppelganger. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" In all honesty, it's not that particularly gruesome, but I'll allow Raoul his fun now, seeing as how he's had so little opportunity to revel in the grue thus far this season. "EEEEEE -- Thanks! -- EEEEEEE!" Don't mention it. Anyway, Bobby's cell of course rings, and it's Dean, and Bobby wastes not an instant informing him of the miracle substance that reduces Leviathans to mangled, crispy clots of flesh: Borax. Yeah, that's right -- this stuff. Hey, it's no weirder than frigging rock salt, so whatever. Between the borax and the decapitation, Our Authentic Idiots should be able to put down their Leviathanically enhanced doppelgangers for a fairly lengthy period of time, but of course, there's a problem. The Polk County sheriff heard every word of this particular conversation, and he's so sickened and repulsed by the apparent depravity on display between Natural Born El Deano and the latter's growly henchpsycho on the other end of the line that the sheriff flat-out refuses to cooperate any further with his prisoner, and with that, he flounces back towards his office.

Supernatural

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