Fade back in to Big Dean getting called back to reality by Billabong Mom handing him his credit card receipt. Cut to the motel room, where Sam does some internet research on the shtriga. He smugs that Dean was right about it being some kind of witch. And, because I have been beaten into submission, I will recap the blap that Sam recites at Dean: shtrigas are Albanian, but somehow date back to ancient Rome, they feed off the breath of life, they prefer children, they are invulnerable to all weapons. Here Dean jumps in, saying that the last part isn't right: "She's vulnerable when she feeds. You catch her when she's feeding, you can blast her with consecrated wrought irons." Sam is surprised and wonders how Dean knows that. Dean replies that he just remembered Dad telling him that. Sam clearly thinks Dean is withholding more information. A sentiment with which I agree. Boxers or briefs, Dean? Sam moves on, expositing that it will be difficult to find this thing because when it isn't feeding it disguises itself as a human. He continues, saying that it could take any human form, but historically it usually appears as a feeble old woman.
Dean snaps to attention and says that all the victims lived in a circle around the hospital, and tells Sam that he saw an old woman at the hospital. Sam brats, "An old person? At the hospital? Whoo, better call the coast guard." Dude, if you are going to snark, at least come up with something better than "call the coast guard." For example, Sam could have said, "Call the doctor, 'cause you're making my pants hot." See? So much better. Dean won't stand for Sam's assholery, and tells him to shut it by mentioning the "inverted cross" he saw on her wall.Back at the hospital at night. Our two trusty CDC representatives stalk the hallways in their leather jackets and jeans. Nice attempt to stay in character, fellas. They nearly run into the doc, an encounter that does nothing except keep that guy from disappearing into the ether due to the severe case of Short-Term Television Memory Loss that plagues America. The boys draw their weapons and sneak into the old lady's hospital room. She's still sitting up in her wheelchair, and they flank her with guns pulled. Dean sort of slowly lowers his face to hers, slowly, slowly, slowly, then BAM! she yells out, "Who's there?" Dean jumps halfway across the room and she yells out, "Are you trying to steal my stuff?" Sam flicks on the lights, and she mumbles some old lady mumbo-jumbo. Sam covers, saying that they are from hospital maintenance. Speaking of which, I've got a problem with my pipes...oh, sigh. I'm tired of that joke. The old lady then throws a wrench into the boys' plan by telling them to fix the crucifix on her wall. Well, I guess I'm not that tired: I wish the boys would throw a wrench in my plans. Dean reaches out and touches the crucifix, which readily swings back into its normal position. He shrugs. And...all right, one more time: damn, big boy, wanna come over and fix the crucifix on my wall? Wow, that one was dirty.












