Supernatural
Survival Of The Fittest

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 9 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
They Should Have Cancelled The Hardy Boys Years Ago

SNOT ROCKET! Yep, it turns out that this season's terribly unhygienic title card has been foreshadowing the conclusion of this season's overarching storyline the entire time. Go figure. Richard Roman's body bursts open, head first, and expels an overwhelming tsunami of bitterly black Leviathan goo that washes over everyone present to smack straight into the camera's lens, and we enter this evening's final CHOMP!-less commercial break wondering...well, wondering why they're cutting to a fucking commercial when there's only three goddamned minutes left in the episode, actually. This stupid show.

Leviathan Laboratory. Immediate aftermath. We return to find Darling Sammy and Sniveling Snot-Nosed Kevin still cowering by the laboratory's doors, but of Dashing El Deano and My Batshit Baboo, not a trace can be seen. DUN! Darling Sammy begins to panic, but Crowley materializes to tell him not to worry. Well, not to worry about the remaining Leviathans, at any rate. He's got his army of minions decapitating every last Leviathan it can find at the moment, and as for the few remaining strays? They're pretty much useless without a leader, so with Richard Roman gone, they should be easy to corral. "Where's Dean?" Sam shouts, getting to the point. "That bone," Crowley eyebrows, "has a bit of a kick -- God Weapons often do." "They should put a warning on the box," he smiles. At that, Crowley snaps his fingers, and the two henchminions who took care of Meg now pop up from out of nowhere to assume control of Sniveling Snot-Nosed Kevin, for whatever reason. Over Darling Sammy's mighty protests, Crowley snaps his fingers again, the henchminions vanish with their charge, and I for one could happily live out the rest of my days never once setting eyes on that runty little boring pain in the ass again. "Sorry, Moose," Crowley smirks before taking his leave. "It looks like you are well and truly on your own." With that, Crowley disappears, leaving The Ginormomope alone to flail about uselessly in The Leviathans' ruined laboratory until even the camera gets tired of watching him.

Meanwhile, Dashing El Deano wakes up on the ground somewhere forbidding and remote. DUN! My Possibly No-Longer-Batshit Baboo hovers above him with a deeply unsettled expression on his face, and once Dean has recovered what's left of his wits, Castiel states, "We need to get out of here." "Where are we?" Dean wonders, pulling himself to his feet. "You don't know?" Castiel replies, in an answer that so totally isn't. Rather than throttling his angelic boyfriend's infuriatingly unresponsive ass, Dean instead dumbly notes that, as best he can recall, they successfully slaughtered Richard Roman. "And where would he go in death?" Castiel prompts. "Are you telling me...?" Dean begins. "Every soul here is a monster," Castiel growls, "and this is where they come to prey upon each other for all eternity." "We're in Purgatory?" Dean howls. "How do we get out?" "I'm afraid we're much more likely to be ripped to shreds," Castiel frowns, and no sooner have those words left his mouth than the woods around them come to life with snarling, circling, red-eyed beasties. "I think we better..." Dean begins again, but My Elusive Baboo has long since fled the scene, leaving Dashing El Deano in the dark to confront those snarling, circling, red-eyed beasties all on his own, and I'm calling it now: Both Dean and Castiel will be out of Purgatory by next season's second episode, and Bobby will be back by November Sweeps. I hate this show so much.

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Supernatural

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