Supernatural

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Demian: B- | 2444 USERS: B+
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The Hardy Boys Are Still Not Having Sex With Each Other!

And we have Metallicar! Wave hello to the Impala, kids. We also have Bobby, who drove the car from... hell if I can remember now, but whatever. The point is, Bobby's finally arrived at the boys' current coordinates, and much manly backslapping ensues until Bobby at long last gets down to business, slamming a massive tome onto this week's motel room's desk and flipping it open to various Renaissance and Baroque depictions of St. Michael, including this one, which Dean thinks looks like Cate Blanchett, and no, Dean: SWINTON. Bobby suggests they set to researching immediately, because none of these doofuses apparently learned anything about St. Michael in Sunday school, but Darling Sammy has other plans -- other plans that involve... is it? Do I see? Yes! It's the triumphant return of The Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes Of Pleading And Despair, which Darling Sammy unleashes in Bobby's direction to prepare the way for what I'm certain is a heartfelt and touching apology for deploying his Mighty Hands Of Discontent upon Lilith's demonically deceptive ass, but I stopped paying attention as soon as The Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes appeared because I, like Dean, have no time for this touchy-feely teary-eyed self-recrimination crap. Bitch. Long story short, Sam assumes complete responsibility for unleashing Lucifer upon the Earth -- even though he had a major assist from Dean who, as I believe I noted before, broke the first goddamned seal his own goddamned self -- and Bobby rips Sam a new one, because Bobby is secretly possessed. Ooops! Spoiler! By the way, the curtains adorning this week's motel room are even worse than the wallpaper -- if that's in any way possible without ripping open a hole in the entire space-time continuum and destroying us all -- so it's really a good thing that Secretly Possessed Bobby boots Woebegone And Forlorn Sam out of the room to go read some lore at the local Catholic church at this point, because Darling Sammy is one of my favoritest people on the TV, and I wouldn't want those screaming atrocities striking him blind.

Supernatural

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