Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Are Still Not Having Sex With Each Other!

Hateful Motel Room Of Eye-Searing Decor And Dean Beating. Aftermath. As Openly Possessed Bobby drags momentarily stupefied Dean to the latter's feet, Rachel Miner, whom I have no recollection of seeing in anything ever, but who apparently dyed her hair black for this role, swans into the room with a beefy-looking henchdemon and immediately starts in with the taunting. "I always knew you were a big, dumb, slow, dim pain in the ass, Dean," she begins, thereby earning herself the eternal enmity of rabid Deangirls everywhere, "but I never dreamt you were so V.I.P.!" Rachel Miner crosses to fondle The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't and continues, "I mean, you're gonna ice the devil? You?" Having by now lifted The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't from the telephone table, she crosses over to Our Dear Boy to draw its blade against his cheek as she finishes, "I'd-a known that, I would've ripped your pretty, pretty face off ages ago!" "Ruby!" Dean accuses, still struggling to pull himself together after Openly Possessed Bobby's impressive smackdown. "Guess again," Rachel Miner teases. "Go back further." "Meg?" Dean realizes with much furrowing of his preternaturally photogenic brow. "Hi!" she giggles by way of confirmation, and really, Kripke? Meg? After two and a half years? I'll reserve judgment until after I've seen where Our Dark And Evil Overlord is going with this one, but I gotta admit now: It's making me tense. "And not in a good way, either!" Raoul shriekily agrees, and as ever, thanks for getting my back, friend of friends. "Don't mention it!"

In any event, Meg waxes rhapsodic regarding these new "days of miracle and wonder," noting that since their father has risen, demons "are dreaming for the first time" since they were human. "We really owe your brother a fruit basket!" Meg sings, and at the risk of sounding like I'm repeating myself: Meg, honey, YOU OWE BOTH OF THEM A FRUIT BASKET BECAUSE DEAN BROKE THE FIRST SEAL. GOD! ANY-way, Meg threatens Dean's life before leaning in and planting a big ol' sloppy wet one on The Ducky Lips. "What is that?" Dean snarks, running his tongue around his mouth. "Peanut butter?" Heh. In any event, and long story short, Meg finally reminds Dean that Actual Bobby's still swimming around somewhere deep inside Openly Possessed Bobby's body, and she'd like nothing more than for Actual Bobby to suffer while his openly possessed self guts Dashing El Deano like a trout. To that end, she presses the haft of The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't into Openly Possessed Bobby's palm, and that's a very bad move on your part, Meg darling, because Actual Bobby is badass in ways you can't begin to fathom, and to prove that, Actual Bobby quite badassedly regains possession of his physical form from the demon within and then, as if that weren't badass enough, even more badassedly jams The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't into his own rather capacious gut! "Oh, I am torn!" wails Raoul, clasping an exquisitely manicured paw against his heaving chest, and why is that, Raoul? "Well! As you know, I've always wondered exactly how much viscera one as rotund as that delightfully hirsute Bobby person could contain!" We'll go with that. And? "But...! But...! I don't want him to die!" Oh, Raoul. "[Wail!]" You old softie -- you have nothing to worry about! "[Sniff!] Really!?" Really. "WHY?!" Because Bobby's capacious gut is so vast, it easily absorbed The Knife's blade, and with no major damage to any vital organs! "For true!?" For true. "So I might shriek it?!" If you wish. "Hooray! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Feel better? "Much!" Excellent.

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Supernatural

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