Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 2 USERS: A+
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The Hardy Boys Are Still Not Having Sex With Each Other!

HERE ENDETH the Revelation of Robert Singer, which KRIPKE gave unto him; and sent and signified it unto His servant, Demian, for His servant Demian hath dread Deadlines to meet, and therefore canst not keepeth this Shit up for an Entire Recap.

Rattle, Rattle Nonexistent NOW! Well, to be entirely accurate and nonjudgmental about it all, there never was any need for the NOW!, anyway, as the start of this episode picks up seamlessly from the ending of the last. Dean, completely overwhelmed by his fear of what's now rising through the floor, pretty much regresses to a far younger version of himself as he grasps desperately at his brother's sleeve and whimpers, "Sammy? Let's go!" For his part, Sam manages to fumble for Dean's sleeve in return until -- suddenly overcome by panic and dread -- he freezes in place, and he can only cry out, "He's coming!" as The Light-Bringer's horrible incandescence expands before...

...both boys snap the hell out of it and bolt for the door. Unfortunately for them, Lucifer's apparently seen fit to slam shut and bolt that door in their faces, and Our Intrepid Heroes futilely hammer their fists against the wood for a moment while Lucifer intensifies behind them, expanding slowly across the floor until the pillar's consumed all but the very edge of Lilith's blood sigil. At that moment, a high-pitched whine emerges from the thing, and as that whine rapidly amplifies in volume to overwhelm their senses, Sam and Dean crash to their knees with their hands balled into desperate fists over their ears, and the light gushes upwards to flood the screen, blotting out Our Dear Boys' faces until...

...and elaborately behorned and moustachioed cartoon Satan pops into view to ask, "What the devil is your name?" "Suh-Suh-Suh-Yosemite Saaaaaaam!" wails the despairing Warner Brothers character in question, and the camera pulls back to reveal that "[o]ne of the worst Bugs Bunny cartoons ever made" is airing on a commercial jet's cabin-wide video system, and it seems an odd choice for in-flight entertainment, given that "Devil's Feud Cake" prominently features a near-catastrophe of the avionic variety, but that's not important right now, because what is important is that the camera continues its pan along the jet's interior until it lands on...Our Intrepid Heroes, cringing in their seats? Buzzzz-nuh? "I was most perplexed myself!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon who, having survived both the move from Chicago to New York City and the unfortunate unpleasantness with the local constabulary that immediately followed same, has chosen this moment to offer his helpful opinion in support of yours truly's, and Raoul, I must repeat myself: I love what you've done with your ankle monitor. "Thanks!" Care to share with everyone the details of that unfortunate unpleasantness and the lengthy amounts of nonsense I had to endure just to bail you out? "I do not!" Then I shall continue with the recap. "Good idea!"

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Supernatural

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