Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Are Still Not Having Sex With Each Other!

"What the hell?" Dean blurts, once he and his brother have realized where they are, and yes, Dean. Yes, exactly. I think. As Sam stammers that he hasn't a clue what the fuck just happened to them, the pilot dings onto the intercom to announce, "Folks, quick word from the flight deck: We're just passing over Ilchester, then Ellicott City on our initial descent into Baltimore." "Ilchester?" Dean repeats, wild-eyed with equal amounts of WTF? and pteromerhanophobia. "Weren't we just there?" Yes, Dean. Yes, you were, but you must excuse me for a moment, for I must jump up to the cockpit with the camera at this point to join the pilot as he continues, "If you'd like to stretch your legs, now would be a goodHOLYCRAPWHATTHEHELLISTHAT?!" For yes, gentle reader, Lucifer's Pillar has at this very moment exploded into the stratosphere and beyond directly in front of the airplane, and the pilot's immediate evasive maneuvers buffet unsecured air mattresses about the cabin while the overhead oxygen masks pretty much dump themselves directly into the suddenly screaming passengers' laps. Hyperventilating El Deano expertly secures his own mask over his nose and mouth just as the jetliner plunges into a nosedive off to the side of Lucifer's Pillar, and he goggles out the window at the rapidly approaching ground as, once again, that horrible white light intensifies to blast his image from the screen and...

SPLAT! "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieks Raoul, writhing himself into a blur upon his overstuffed armchair with positively unprecedented amounts of delight, for The Kripkeeper has finally taken his Exploding Corpse idea to heart. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Well, it's not precisely an exploding corpse, but, you know. The intent's there. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Oy. In any event, what appears to be a tremendous gout of blood explodes outwards from the back of the screen to splatter against the front and, like, swim around for a bit with the show's title dripping through it all exactly as Raoul described. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I'm going to be deaf before we hit this episode's exposition. Which might not be such a bad thing. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" ANY-way, "Supernatural" drips there amongst the swirling eddies of gore, underscored by an insistent heartbeat and some intense, otherworldly susurrations until the opening RAAAWWWR! sweeps across the screen to gobble everything up, and while the RAAAWWWR! isn't exactly "a dapper and debonair gentlebeast" as specified by your faithful recapper's faithful recapping companion, I do believe it's close enough. So close, in fact, that a certain imaginary gay dragon on the Internet should be expecting a pretty fat check from Warner Brothers in the very near future. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

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Supernatural

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