Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 10 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Work Each Other's Last Damn Nerve

Our Intrepid Heroes have arrived at Crawford Hall, where Richard Speight -- who's actually the building's janitor -- allows them into The Formerly Lecherous Professor's former office. The LYING LIARS WHO LIE this time masquerade as electricians, and as Sam whips out his little EMF reader to scan the walls, El Deano discovers a dish of chocolate-covered caramels off to the side. While Sam begins slyly pumping the janitor for details of The Formerly Lecherous Professor's demise, Dean begins shoving caramel after caramel into his seemingly bottomless maw, for this is the flashback wherein Sam exaggerates Dean's oft-piggish relationship with free food. When Dean pops back into the frame with his cheeks positively bulging with the gooey candy, the shot freezes so Present-Day Dean's voice can complain, "Come on -- I ate one, maybe two!" "Just let me tell it!" Present-Day Sam hisses, and the action kicks back into gear as the janitor gossips that The Formerly Lecherous Professor was actually in the company of a young lady the night he took a header from his office window, and that the evening in question was not the first in which "Mr. Morality" entertained comely coeds after hours in his office, if you know what he means. "Got more ass than a toilet seat," the janitor rather indelicately reveals. El Deano, who'd been popping caramels into his mouth this entire time -- and whose cheeks are therefore now distended to a freakishly simian extent -- finds that last rather amusing, and brays his approval through what I am certain is the dense amount of chocolate-coated saliva now threatening to dribble down his chin. The janitor chuckles along in affable agreement while Sam struggles not to beat Dean senseless with The Formerly Lecherous Professor's product-placed iMac. Sam thanks the janitor for his time, and the boys head back to...

...Room 12 at The King's Lair Hotel, where, long story short, Sam finds his precious laptop frozen on the homepage for (Don't bother looking to see what's actually there, by the way -- Warner Bros. Entertainment reserved the domain name back in December, and you'll just get a Server Not Found error.) Needless to say, Dean's responsible, and quickly vanishes into the bathroom to escape Sam's wrath. Sam just shouts after him, "Would you...just...don'ttouchmystuffanymoreokay?" Heh. Flashback Dean pokes his head out to snarl, "Why don't you control your OCD!" and...

...Present-Day Bobby's cutting through all of that crap with, "Well, did you dig up anything on the building, or on the suicidal coed?" Negative, but the apparent suicide isn't the only thing that's going on at the moment. "This next part, we, uh, didn't see it happen ourselves, exactly," Dean begins a bit hesitantly, perhaps correctly assuming Bobby's going to question their sanity simply for repeating the story, much less for actually investigating it, "but it's pretty friggin' weird, even for us." FLASHBACK! THAT'S NOT ONE OF THEIR OWN! WHATEVER! DEADLINE!

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