Supernatural

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Demian: C+ | 1182 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Work Each Other's Last Damn Nerve

Morgue. With copious amounts of sneak- and flashlight-fu, Our Intrepid Heroes break into the basement. By the way, we get entirely unimportant voice-over snippets from both of the present-day boys, which are supposed to excuse this flashback's lack of wacky perception-related hijinks, just so you know. Dean slings open a drawer, takes one look at its meager contents, and smirks, "This oughta be quick." A very short period of time later, Dean yanks a bloodstained sheet off what little remains of the research scientist so we all might get a look at the deceased's pale, neatly severed right forearm and the-- "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Raoul! I was talking, here! "I'm sorry, but I just couldn't restrain myself any longer! It's delightful!" Well, then, since we're chatting, would you say the deceased's right leg is partially devoured, or is it more partially digested, then regurgitated? "Oh, partially devoured, most certainly! The wonderful gentlebeast involved was likely in the middle of a tasty snack on this person's thigh when it was rudely interrupted!" "Okay," Dean heaves after a moment, "that is just nasty." "LIAR!" shrieks Raoul. "It's delicious! And quite tantalizingly malodorous, if Darling Sammy's reaction is anything to go by! Wheeeeee!" Well, I'm certainly happy this evening's festivities weren't a complete loss for you, Raoul. "Me too!"

In any event, Sam spots something suspicious on the deceased's flayed flesh and calls for a magnifier, which Dean obligingly enough wheels over. Sure enough, Sam's discovered "a belly scale" from "an alligator" clinging to the remains. "How dreadfully embarrassing for the poor dear -- shedding into one's food like that?!" Raoul notes. "Though I'm sure it's nothing that can't be remedied with a nice little apricot scrub!" I'm sure the alligator appreciates the advice, Raoul, but let's set your lizardly grooming tips aside for the moment and get back to the story, shall we? So, the boys natter about the alligator-in-the-sewer urban legend for a bit, connect it to the urban legends involving alien abductions and vengeful dead coeds, and decide to call upon Bobby for assistance. First, though, they split up to investigate the sewer in which the research scientist's meager remains were discovered. "Did you find anything?" Present-Day Bobby wonders. "Yeah, I found something," Present-Day Dean seethes. "Just not in the sewer." Flashback Dean shoves aside a manhole cover to emerge from below onto an alleyway, and bow-leggedly lopes around the corner to the spot where he'd parked the Impala. One problem -- well, four, actually: Someone's deflated all of the tires. "Son of a bitch!" Dean rages, then promptly whaps himself upside the head because that's his own mother he's talking about. No, seriously. Dean's found his brother's money clip right next to the car, remembers Sam's earlier threat against Metallicar's well-being, and growls, "Sam!" before pumping his stumpy little legs back to...

Supernatural

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