Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 5 USERS: B-
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The Hardy Boys: It's What's (Almost) For Dinner

Daytime, outside the sheriff's department. Inside the office, a policewoman with ice-cold eyes looks over a badge and asks "Officer Washington" what she can do for him. Dean looks rather nervous as he blurts out that he's working a missing persons case. She seems confused, thinking he's there to investigate the Jenkins (guy from beginning) disappearance. Dean clarifies that he's looking for his cousin, who disappeared the night before after the two were out drinking at a bar. Um, sort of not the most convincing missing persons report I've heard. Officer Hottie concurs: "Does your cousin have a drinking problem?" Dean quips, "Sam? Two beers and he's doing karaoke." Now THAT is an episode we'd like to see, Kripke! Dean is sure Sam was taken. Officer Hottie asks for Sam's last name, and when Dean provides it, she asks, "Like the rifle?" She sits down to put Sam's name into a "Police Records Search." Kudos to set design for coming up with a realistic-looking computer platform. Usually, when someone uses a computer on television, the screen looks like Pong circa 1973. The record comes up on screen, and I'll go ahead and put it all down here on the off chance that everybody reading this recap hasn't already jotted the info down in their glittered Sam-n-Dean-n-Me 4EVA notebooks. Sam Winchester:

Born: May 2, 1983
Place of Birth: Lawrence, Kansas
Physical description: 6'4" Height 180-190 lbs Brown Hair, Brown Eyes No distinctive markings or tattoos

The record also links to Dean Winchester, listed as deceased. Here's his info:
Born: January 24, 1979
Died: March 7, 2006
Place of Birth: Lawrence, Kansas
Place of Death: St. Louis, Missouri
Physical Description: 6'4" [HAH!] 175 lbs Brown Hair, Green Eyes No distinctive markings or tattoos. Subject was prime suspect in multiple homicide investigations.... ["If that's the case, wouldn't there be a picture in these records? Sigh. Silly show." -- Sars]Officer Hottie remarks on Dean's police record. Dean chuckles, "Yeah. Dean. Kind of the black sheep of the family. Handsome, though." Officer Hottie just distractedly mutters, "Uh huh." Hee. She tells Dean that nothing is showing up in the "current field reports." Dean is all, "Bitch, I already got a lead." He mentions the security cameras he spotted and makes a slip of the tongue: "Figure it picked up whatever took him. Or, whoever. Took him." Officer Hottie says she can go to another office to take a look at the camera footage, and then decides that they should "do this the right way." Unfortunately she does not follow that suggestion up with "Right here on this desk, big boy," but instead asks Dean to fill out a missing persons report. Dean's been sitting in his chair making worried eyes. He finally stands up and says, "Look, he's family. I kinda look out for the kid. You gotta let me go with you." She says no, and then he asks her about all the people who disappear in the county. She grimaces a bit and Dean continues, declaring that "Sam's my responsibility and he's coming back. I'm bringing him back."

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Supernatural

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