Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 5 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys: It's What's (Almost) For Dinner

Cut to a dark room. A shot of Sam through the criss-crossed bars of a cage. He sort of startles awake, and tries to stand. The cage isn't quite tall enough. He grabs the bars of the cage and shakes them. He is in a grey t-shirt and has on a cute black jelly bracelet. He looks to the side, and sees a man zonked out in a cage next to him. We look at him peering about some more, his face bathed in a small shaft of bright light.

Dean sits on a park bench. Officer Hottie comes out: "Greg, I think we've got something." Ha. Greg. She blathers on about the Amber Alert program, but the point is she got images from around the time of Sam's disappearance. Dean is dismissive of her evidence, but she's a sharp cookie. And that is a mixed metaphor. She points to a shot of an old truck camper, and then points out that it has what look like new license plates. They agree that the plates must then be stolen. Which, uh, not really, but whatever. She thinks this definitively proves that whoever owns that "rust bucket must be involved." Police work, The WB-style. Gotta love it. Quick, easy, and totally nonsensical. Dean gets distracted by a scrape-y, whiny sound coming from a conversion van driving down the street. Who knew that I effortlessly know the names of these hillbilly vehicles. Dean points out that the engine is "kind of whining growl" and then mutters, "I'll be damned." Why he mutters this I have no idea, because the only thing his muttering could signify is that he just realized that Sam was kidnapped by the same thing that kidnapped the guy from the beginning, which why WOULDN'T he have already been assuming that?Back in the Gentlewomen's Club -- oops, I mean, the barn full of cages, Sam continues shaking the bars. Slap that ass, big man! Erm, um, excuse me. He grunts, he growls, he kicks. The man in the cage next door rouses up and Sam confirms that he is, indeed, Jenkins, and then tells him that he had been looking for him. Jenkins hisses from his cage, "Well, no offense, but this is a piss-poor rescue." Sam slips into a drawl as he tells Jenkins that "mah brutha is out there lookin' fer us." Jenkins is not reassured, reminding Sam that they're both sitting in cages "waiting for them to come back and do god knows what with us." Sam asks Jenkins if he know "what they are." Jenkins thinks Sam is crazy for asking "what" they are, and recommends that he see for himself as both men hear a door creak open. Needlessly incoherent camerawork shakily shows two hooded figures entering the dark barn, and then banging a stick of some sort on the doors of Jenkins's cage. The cage door swings open, and Jenkins starts shitting his pants and begging them to leave him alone. The cage door closes, and Jenkins looks around shiftily before falling upon a tin plate and mug that have been placed in there with him. Jenkins, dude, you've been being held prisoner for like a day or two, why don't you hold off on scarfing down the indeterminate sausage placed in your cage. You are not an ahn-ee-mal! The figures bang their sticks on Sam's cage for a second before going over to a weird-looking lockbox that somehow, I guess, controls the cage locks? I don't know why this scene is so visually confusing. Sam expresses surprise as he watches them go: "I'll be damned. They're just people." So both the brothers express a wish to be damned, but simple phrase repetition does not a theme make. Take it from me, I'm the English teacher from hell.

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