...oncoming traffic! Dun-dun-DUN! A late-model sedan plows directly into The Ginormomoron's heretofore remarkably healthy legs, and Somersaulting Sammy goes flipping up into the air and over the car until he lands in the damp and sticky embrace of this evening's...

...SNOT ROCKET!, and in case you heartless bitches were wondering, I still haven't been able to find Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon. As you'll no doubt recall, I'm sure, I last traced his movements to a social club in Bay Ridge, but as I lack the proper connections, I was unable to pursue this shaky lead further. I'm all out of options at this point, so I suppose I have little choice but to soldier on, all stoic in the face of my grief and such. I wonder what I can get for his overstuffed armchair on Craigslist. No, no, I'm just making a bleak attempt at humor, here -- I could never get rid of that mangy old thing as long as there's some faint glimmer of hope he'll return. Besides, I'd never be able to get the slobber stains out. Sigh.

In any event, when the dripping is done, Dashing El Deano barges into the run-down office of some beleaguered hospital administrator, bellowing for access to his grievously injured brother. "Doctor Kadinsky" rises from his desk, dismisses the screaming nurse who'd run in after Our Belligerent Hero, and gently informs Dashing El Deano that Darling Sammy has been admitted for treatment of a broken rib and several minor lacerations, even though that goddamned sedan basically kneecapped him, which means he should be missing both of his heretofore remarkably healthy legs at this point. Dean's all, "Broken rib? That's not so bad. And?" "And," the good doctor hesitantly replies, "he's on our locked psychiatric floor." DUN! "You're aware that Sam is experiencing a full-blown psychotic episode?" the good doctor asks. If Dashing El Deano wasn't aware of that fact, he is now, and even though he argues that Batshit Sammy is no "freakin' Norman Bates," the good doctor insists his staff must determine if Batshit Sammy's psychosis was brought on by his exhaustion (and dehydration!), or if Batshit Sammy's exhaustion (and dehydration!) is merely a symptom of some far more troubling underlying condition. I'd insert some thoroughly tasteless KONY 2012-related comment here, I'm sure, were it not for the fact that everyone's already forgotten about that particularly hilarious example of born-again closet-case "exhaustion and dehydration" by now. Though, you know, given this episode's title... Nah, this installment was long in the can by the time Jason Russell unleashed his inner drag queen on the streets of San Diego, so I suppose I should just forget about it and keep this recap moving, right? Right.