And while Raoul toddles off to whip us up a batch of something healing and tasty, Dean tells Bobby that old soldiers never die, they just fade away, and that cheers Speed Racer right up. I'm pretty sure. Please don't make me rewind to check, because there are seriously only fifty-four seconds left in this hateful episode, and it would be a thing of beauty and a joy forever if I could get through it without inflicting grave bodily injury upon myself. And in the end, we see the return of Badass Bobby as he most awesomely asks, "Now, are we done feeling our feelings? 'Cause I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts." Hee. But then they have to ruin that beautiful moment by implying Dashing El Deano's decided to swear off delicious-looking bacon double cheeseburgers for good, and this show SUCKS and I WANT TO DIE and WHY WILL THIS EPISODE NOT END and look at that -- it's over. Thank fucking Christ.

And after the unmitigated trauma of this week's horrendous presentation, next week promises to be simply awesome. Richard Speight returns as The Trickster, who decides to torment Our Intrepid Heroes this time around by hurling them into a series of alternate realities wherein their lives play out like various television genres, including a three-camera sitcom with a laugh track, a sufficiently salacious version of Grey's Anatomy, a variation on C.S.I.: Miami featuring Darling Sammy as Horatio Caine, and -- perhaps most awesomely of all -- a take on Knight Rider in which the Impala stars as KITT. See you then.

Demian hated this episode so much, he can't find the strength to insult you. Raoul cannot possibly recommend Hot Fuzz to you more. "The gardening shears! The masonry! EEEEEEEEEEEEE! You may reach the former at demian_twop@yahoo.com. The latter is an imaginary gay dragon currently under house arrest on the Internet.

Discuss this episode in our forums, then see who vlogger Sean Crespo thinks the brothers should be battling in No Prior Knowledge!