...The Cellar Of Blockheaded Bobby's Ludicrous Doom, where The Cypriot Leprechaun opens an elaborate and expensive-looking poker set on the green felt table while reminding Our Intrepid Pinhead that the standard buy-in is twenty-five years. The Manwitch, incidentally, has a very noticeable habit of chewing on toothpicks, a character detail which you may wish to note. You know, just in case it becomes important in about twenty minutes when Darling Sammy attempts to swipe one to use as a DNA sample in the vanquishing ritual they perform at the behest of The Manwitch's partner in crime. Ooops! Spoiler! Dean, naturally, asks for double the minimum number of chips and, after The Cypriot Leprechaun's zapped said chips with a bit of Latinated mojo, immediately returns twenty-five, which are to be credited to Blockheaded Bobby's account. The Manwitch latinates some more, and before you know it, a large gout of flame erupts from the center of the table to transform the pile of chips into a pile of ash. And when the fire dissipates, we see that Speed Racer's been restored to his proper age. And because I am attempting to make it through this misbegotten nightmare of an episode as quickly as possible, I will not be wondering why Dim Dean didn't immediately return twenty-six chips to The Cypriot Leprechaun for immolation, thereby restoring Blockheaded Bobby not only to the latter's proper age, but also to the latter's former state of entirely ambulatory health because this episode sucks, and I want to die, and while I'm not wondering why Dim Dean didn't immediately return twenty-six chips for immolation, I'll also not be wondering why we're expected to fret about Dim Dean's well being at this or any other point during this misbegotten horror of an episode because hey, isn't Dim Dean Michael's angel condom, and wouldn't Zachariah immediately restore Dim Dean to his proper age and former state of entirely bow-legged health no matter what the hell happens during the ludicrous rounds of Texas Hold 'Em that follow? AAAUAUAUUUUUAAAUAUUUAUUUGH. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Fuck you, Raoul. You too, Simon Pegg.
Episode Report CardDemian: D- | 2074 USERS: B-
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