ANY-way, Dim Dean orders The Manwitch to "shuffle up and deal," and the next thing we know, Sam's entering this week's motel room with a takeout tray stuffed with delicious-looking bacon double cheeseburgers, which he nearly bobbles to the floor when Chad Everett dodders from the can in an out-of-character blue terrycloth robe for yes, Dim Dean lost, and yes, Chad Everett is now playing Old Dean, and while I'll not begrudge Jensen Ackles a week off from the insane and hectic schedule this show normally demands of him, Chad Everett's a towering douchebag of the old, unapologetically chauvinist order, and so I shall simply note that his presence therefore represents yet another item on The Sucky List of Sucktastic Things That Royally Suck About This Sucky Episode Which Sucks Rocks, and keep this moving. In any event, Old Dean likens himself to Gloria Stuart, Darling Sammy likens Old Dean to Emperor Palpatine, the just-arriving Speed Racer likens Old Dean to John McCain, and you goddamned morons can get this stupid plot moving any time you feel like it, okay? OKAY? Sam smirks that with Old Dean and Blockheaded Bobby bickering at each other, it's like Grumpy Old Men come to life, and as that's an insult to the sainted memories of Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Burgess Meredith, Ossie Davis, and Ann-Margret's career, I'll be ignoring the mildly amusing moment when both Old Dean and Blockheaded Bobby tell Darling Sammy to shut the hell up to skim past both the tedious argument Old Dean and Speed Racer have regarding whose fate is worse and the tedious piece of business wherein Old Dean suffers an attack of acid reflux thanks to one of those delicious-looking bacon double cheeseburgers to get to the frigging point, already: The three numbskulls bang their heads together and eventually realize the Latinated poker chips must be at fault, and Sam and Old Dean leave to swipe The Manwitch's stash after Old Dean embarrasses himself by hitting on the chambermaid -- who likens him to her adorably old and perpetually horny grandfather, of course -- and holy crap, this episode sucks. At least the one with the racist truck had a sex scene in it.
Episode Report CardDemian: D- | 2076 USERS: B-
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