Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: D- | 6 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Make It A Manwitch Night

There follows a brief scenelet in which The Cypriot Leprechaun steals a Mercedes by faking a fatal accident (don't ask), and then we're off with Sam and Old Dean as they break into The Manwitch's tony high-rise condominium, which I'm assuming he's simply renting for the week, but whatever, because this episode blows, and I want to die, and Old Dean can't climb stairs anymore, nor can he crack safes, because he is Old Dean rather than Young Dean, and WE GET IT ALREADY and finally -- finally -- they've accessed the chips in question, but what's this? It's The Cypriot Leprechaun's longtime partner in crime! And she's got a few ludicrous magical tricks up her sleeve, as well, which she demonstrates by telekinetically rearranging Our Intrepid Knotheads' innards, and I'd be worried about their well being at this point in time, I'm sure, were it not for the fact that they're both Vessels for some very high-powered angelic entities and there is therefore no way in hell they're going to suffer permanent damage as a result of this evening's poorly considered hijinks, so I'll be skipping ahead to the point where The Manwitch serendipitously returns to his abode to reveal that the chips in and of themselves are worthless, and that if they want to regain any years they've lost, they'll have to play yet another stupid round of Texas Hold 'Em. Old Dean instantly volunteers, but The Cypriot Leprechaun insists he's not a killer, so any future gambling must of necessity be Sam's. Unfortunately, because Sam apparently suh-huuuuuucks even harder at Texas Hold 'Em than he does at the hand-to-hand combat, Old Dean announces they'll pass, and The Manwitch lets them go with just one small parting gift for Sam as punishment -- a parting gift he bestows by slowly clapping his hands together three times.

Cut to the base of The Manwitch's tony high-rise. Sam scratches himself. "I believe that He-Witch gave you the clap," Old Dean opines, and while it's not as amusing as a midget stripper giving him herpes, you must remember this: Darling Sammy just got a social disease from a guy. Heh.

Back from the second CHOMP!-less commercial break, The Three Stooges bicker about Sam taking on The Cypriot Leprechaun, and it somehow leads to a mini nervous breakdown from Speed Racer over his squashy legs and general uselessness, and I'd care about it more, I'm sure, if Dean had immediately returned twenty-six chips to The Manwitch for immolation rather than twenty-five, thereby restoring Blockheaded Bobby to the latter's former state of entirely ambulatory health, but Dean didn't, so I don't, because this episode sucks, and I want to die, and look at that! The scene's over. Sam vows to fix everything his own damn self, thank you very much, and he takes off, leaving Old Dean and Speed Racer to their own devices, so they stagger and wheel themselves, respectively, back to...

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Supernatural

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