The French Mistake

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 28 USERS: A-
Hardy Boys Only Pawn In Game Of Life

Alas, we are not. As Belthazor ransacks the drawers of Bobby's desk in search of "the bones of a lesser saint," which he of course finds and then crumbles into his oversalted and sticky brew, he blathers on endlessly regarding the current crisis, so let's cut through the crap to get to the important bits, shall we? Long story short, Raphael's on a rampage, and as Castiel's gone "deep underground" to escape his wrath, Raphael's decided to send his henchangels after anyone who ever assisted My Sweet Baboo in any way, including, of course, Our Intrepid Heroes. Belthazor hands Darling Sammy what appears to be a motel room key, slaps a sigil onto one of Bobby's windows with that salted and now-bony lamb's blood, and pimp-smacks the boys through the gruesome symbol just as one of Raphael's enforcers flutters in to rip out their throats with his teeth, from the looks of this strapping, stone-faced "Virgil" person. Sam and Dean go smashing through the window in an explosion of shards and splinters to land...

...on a couple of mattresses on a soundstage floor? D'OH! "Cut!" bellows a gentleman's voice from somewhere out of the frame as a mightily confused Sam and Dean leap to their feet as best they can to find themselves facing an entire film crew, which now offers them a round of applause. The overly friendly stunt coordinator slaps Dean on the ass while complimenting him on mad falling skillz, and then the dulcet tones of one Brian Doyle-Murray rip through the air as the gentleman in question shouts, "Jared! Jensen! Outstanding! That was just great!" And as the thoroughly befuddled boys flail about atop their mattress, an extremely efficacious clapper loader sneaks in behind them to address the camera as follows: "Supernatural, Scene One-Echo, Take One -- tail slate, marker!"

Tinkle, Tinkle RAAAWWWR! This, of course, would be the point where I'd normally turn to my usually faithful recapping companion, Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, and ask him for his opinion on the action thus far. Unfortunately, the idiots responsible for this mess scheduled this episode to air on Academy Awards Weekend, a high holiday Raoul holds sacrosanct -- as well he should, I might add -- and so the dear, dizzy lizard has asked me to convey his regrets, as he is far too busy supervising the final preparations for his annual Oscars blowout to participate in this evening's festivities. He's done his best to keep the details of the party secret, but as each of the cater-waiters he's hired bears an uncanny resemblance to Cam Gigandet, I believe he's going with a Burlesque theme this year, despite the fact that that instant classic received a whopping zero nominations. Nevertheless, the soiree promises to be a gas, and I do hope I make it over there in time to watch Annette Bening lose again, especially because Raoul loves to take what some might call a perverse pleasure in seeing her fail. "Hag!" I'm sure Raoul would shriek at this juncture were he here. "Strident, talentless hag!"

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