Supernatural
The Girl Next Door

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 5 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
It's Like The Hardy Boys Aren't Even Trying Anymore

...FLASHBACK! This time, we find the jaundiced Wee Sam in the Lincoln library, where he's informing the still unfortunately never-seen Teen Dean via antique cell phone that "they need a steady diet of human pituitary glands to survive," and just as quickly as we were bitch-slapped into the past, we get bitch-slapped back into the...

...present, where Dapper Sam makes with quippy remarks before retreating to his version of this week's motel room, where he busies himself constructing a big-ass Wall O' Investigating, much as he did in his...

...jaundiced past. And as Wee Sam realizes the 1998 spate of murders all occurred within shouting distance of I-80 between Milford and Aurora...

...Present Sam realizes the 2011 spate of murders all occurred within shouting distance of I-90 between Big Timber and Belgrade. Present Sam sweats, because thinking is hard. Then, he folds all sixteen feet of himself into the purloined Impala and motors off to an appropriately dark and forbidding piece of nowhere to wait for the killer to strike again. Meanwhile, back in the...

...jaundiced past, Wee Sam's emerged from the "LANCASTER PUBLIC LIBRARY" to fetch himself some caffeine from the handy coffee cart out on the sidewalk, but that's not important right now because what is important right now is the fact that Wee Sam's Wee Sam has gone all a-tingle at the sight of the perky little blonde thing who's now entering the library. Meanwhile, back at the...

...present-day stakeout, Sam looks conflicted or confused or constipated or something, and then we get bitch-slapped back into the...

...jaundiced past, where Wee Sam eyes up the perky little blonde thing from afar as ominous music plays for whatever goddamned reason, and then we shoot back to the...

...present-day stakeout, and FOR FUCK'S SAKE WOULD YOU PICK A FUCKING YEAR AND STICK THE FUCK WITH IT ALREADY? ANY-way, Sam spots a just-arriving someone pulling into his dark and forbidding piece of nowhere, and he...

...OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU A HALF A FUCKING SENTENCE AGO? AAAAUAUUUUUAAAUUGH.

Ahem. Jaundiced past. Wee Sam eyes up the perky little blonde thing through the stacks for a bit, but flees in terror when she's bold enough to return his gaze. He quickly rings up the still unfortunately never-seen Teen Dean on his antique cell phone to inform his brother that Kitsunes might be vanquished with a simple knife to the heart, and then he asks the still unfortunately never-seen Teen Dean how one might chat up a perky little blonde thing. We never do hear Teen Dean's answer, but he must have offered Wee Sam some sort of sage advice, for the next thing we know, Wee Sam's approaching the perky little blonde thing to stammer, "I-I-I just wanted t-t-to..." "No," ices the perky little blonde. "Go away." Wee Sam's wee face falls, so the perky little blonde takes pity on him and explains, "I'm not supposed to talk to boys." Wee Sam shrugs his wee shoulders around for a bit and leaves.

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Supernatural

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