Unfortunately, I have to suffer her aggravating ass for the rest of this goddamned episode, so I suppose I should take a moment to note that this "Charlene Bradbury" person is being portrayed this evening by someone named "Felicia Day" and according to the good people on the forum boards, she's as insufferable in real life as she is here. In fact, from what I can gather, Felicia Day's not so much playing a character named "Charlene Bradbury" this evening as she's offering us all a minor variation on her extremely geek-friendly public persona. And as I don't recall clamoring for this show to start featuring masturbation material targeted towards the vast unwashed hordes of Comic-Con, this knowledge only serves to enrage me more. Really, Supernatural? You're throwing an entire episode at this nonentity in some desperate attempt to reverse your rapidly-declining ratings this late in your seventh season and you expect me to, what, thank you for it? Well, fuck you.

And believe it or not, it only gets worse from here. We watch as Adorkably Quirky Super-Hacker™ Felicia Day® bounds from the elevator bank into her fourth-floor cubicle and of course -- of course -- her desk is littered with numerous examples of the sort of hideously overpriced pop-culture detritus so often favored by the cripplingly maladjusted, including a Legolas bobblehead, a Yoda PEZ dispenser, a Wonder Woman figurine and far too many pieces of infantile Harry Potter-related shit for me to count. Foremost amongst the latter is a wonky-eyed statuette of -- hang on, I've got to look this up -- Hermione Gingold, which Adorkably Quirky Super-Hacker™ Felicia Day® will be addressing out loud at numerous points during what follows and I mention that last bit now because I'm extremely likely to skip over those parts once we reach them, the better to preserve what little remains of my sanity. So. Where the hell were we?