Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | 1 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys Cure Insomnia

Indoors, Isaac and Tamara have taken a table, and have just placed their drinks order with a pleasant-faced woman who's sporting a macramé vest. "EVIL!" shrieks Raoul. "She is EVIL!" And I am most pleased to note that Raoul's impeccable fashion sense has yet to fail him with regard to matters demonic, for the macraméd waitress is, indeed, a creature of Satan, as we shall soon see. But first, we must endure Isaac palming a silver flask of holy water, for he intends, you understand, to confront The Envious Suburbanite in the men's room. Insert your own joke about disgraced Republican senators and their unusually wide stances here. In any event, after Isaac and Tamara coo sweet nothings at each other so we'll all feel sorry for them when he's dead, or something, Isaac rises to follow The Envious Suburbanite into the gent's. Unfortunately, he finds his path unexpectedly blocked by the bald biker-slash-white supremacist type who'd been too-casually leaning against the wall this entire time. "Whaddya think you're doing?" the biker-slash-supremacist sneers. The five people at the bar proper raise their heads as one to watch. In addition to the already-noted macraméd tip whore, there's also a boozy bartender, an immaculately attired pencil pusher, a fat slob, and a slut. Just so you know. "I'm just hittin' the head," Isaac replies, clueless yet wary. "No," the wrathful supremacist growls, twisting the flask from Isaac's grip and flipping it over his shoulder. "I mean," he continues as the camera tracks in on his menacing face, "whaddya think you're doing here?" And with that, The Wrathful Supremacist's eyes flip beetle black. DUN! For real this time! "I don't like hunters in my bar," The Wrathful Supremacist seethes, and as the bungling, bumbling marrieds cringe and cower in fear and terror, The Greedy Tip Whore, The Gluttonous Boozehound, The Prideful Pencil Pusher, The Slothful Fat Guy, and The Lusty Slut stride across the floor with their own pairs of beetle-black eyes to surround our imperiled guest stars. As Bobby, Sam, and Dean bang against the barricaded front door, The Envious Suburbanite returns from the can to join the party. "And what a party it'll be!" Raoul shrieks, clapping his paws together in dizzily excited anticipation. "Once someone breaks out the appropriate cocktails, that is!" Oh, Raoul. You scamp. "Tee!" The Envious Suburbanite gets all up in Isaac's face to smirk, "Man, you really walked into the wrong place," right before all seven of the deadly stereotypes vanish into yet another particularly enthusiastic METAL TEETH CHOMP!

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