Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | 2 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys Cure Insomnia

Bar. The Seven Deadly Stereotypes make with the expected threats -- The Lusty Slut's particularly interested in a little girl-on-girl with Tamara, don't you know, and no, I am not kidding with that, and you have no idea how much I wish I were -- until The Gluttonous Boozehound lays a too-calm palm on Isaac's shoulder and, after shoving a jug of Drain-X brand drain cleaner under Isaac's nose, suggests, "Here. Have a drink on me." "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Raoul! Dude, wait for it! "I just can't help myself!" Raoul pleads. "It's just too delicious!" Oh, you know I know you're right, especially because Bungling, Bumbling Isaac hesitates not an instant before eagerly guzzling down the bottle of multi-purpose deodorizing disinfectant, and even better? It's a gel, so it takes a really, really long time before it activates. And when it does? "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Yes, indeed: Gouts of blood bubble up from Isaac's mouth as his quickly deteriorating innards send his body into a series of jerky, spastic skitters across a wee bit of the linoleum before he face-plants, dead, atop a puddle of his own liquefied esophagus. "Let's watch it again!" Raoul shrieks, panting a bit from all the excitement. You know what? Let's!

And after Raoul and I have done the pause-rewind-play thing about eight or nine times, we finally allow the episode to continue and note that just as The Envious Suburbanite howls, "Your turn!" into Tamara's screaming face, Bad-Ass Bobby rams the Chevelle straight through the bar's locked door. Kick ass. Our Intrepid Heroes slash at The Seven Deadly Stereotypes with army-issued flasks filled with holy water until Sam and Bobby manage to bundle bungling and bereaved Tamara into the Chevelle's back seat. El Deano, meanwhile, manfully beats The Envious Suburbanite into the Chevelle's trunk, for Bad-Ass Bobby's fortuitously enough inscribed a devil's trap on the underside of the hood. With their primary bit of prey thus ensnared, Dean joins the others in the Chevelle proper, and Bobby wastes not an instant in tearing on out of there.

Back at the apparently abandoned Victorian, The Envious Suburbanite cools his demonic heels strapped to a chair beneath yet another devil's trap etched into the ceiling while Tamara and Our Intrepid Heroes bicker about returning to the bar for her dead husband, and there follows a heated argument in which Dean is unbearably stupid, Bobby quite insistently and obnoxiously overstates the threat they're currently facing, and Sam actually sneers that a hunter "can't stab" The Seven Deadly Stereotypes to death mere minutes before an actual hunter actually stabs The Seven Deadly Stereotypes to actual death, so I'll be skipping over it to get to the bit where they interrogate The Envious Suburbanite.

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