The Tragic Bachelor Pad Of Lousy Yet Remarkably Accurate Writing, and poor Rob Benedict looks like an actual, honest-to-God dwarf next to these guys. Heh. In any event, Chuck hesitantly presents Our Intrepid Heroes with the latest chapter of his latest masterpiece. "You especially," he gestures in Dean's direction, "are not going to like this." "I didn't like Hell," Dean deadpans. "Spit it out." Sweet. So, Bugs hems and haws and gulps and sighs and finally drops the Lilith bomb, and the boys react to the news as well as you'd expect, which is to say not very well at all, but Bugs soldiers on to read them all of the sordid details: "Lilith patted the bed seductively. Unable to deny his desire, Sam succumbed, and they sank into the throes of fiery, demonic passion." Sam's immediate snorts of derisive laughter match my own, though I think we're laughing at the above for different reasons. For his part, Dean freaks first over the fact that Lilith normally takes the form of a preadolescent girl. "This time," Bugs assures him, "she's a 'comely dental hygienist from Bloomington, Indiana.'" Hee! Satisfied that Sam's not going to be banging an eight-year-old, Dean next freaks that Sam'll be banging their deadliest foe, and politely asks Bugs to share what happens next with the rest of the class. Unfortunately, Chuck hasn't a clue, because his "process" involves him first receiving a fiery, demonic migraine that he attempts to douse with copious amounts of the healing booze, after which he passes out and receives the premonition, and as we all saw in the last scene, he woke up before the latest premonition had run its course. Then, knowing Dean's about to ask for the sheaf of papers he's got clutched in his hand, Bugs simply stretches out his arm, much to Dean's double-taking dismay. Heh.
Out on the road, Sam runs through the details of their supposedly impending day, finding each detail more implausible than the last, including Dean awakening from a traffic accident "seeing stars" while "scratching at the pink flower band-aids on his face" before motoring off with a plastic tarp -- a plastic tarp that's "flapping like the wings of a crow," by the way -- covering the Impala's shattered back window, which is just the sort of low-class, douchey thing Dean would never do in his life, ever. They argue about Chuck's narrative reliability for a bit, but in the end, Dean decides to get the hell out of Dodge, pronto, because neither of them is equipped to handle Lilith at this point, but there's a problem: The only bridge out of town -- don't ask -- just got washed out, so Our Intrepid Heroes are trapped. Just go with it. So, the boys backtrack, ending up in the only diner in "Kripke's Hollow" -- which, yeah -- and continue to debate Chuck's premonition until Dean decides their best course of action is to study the premonition's details, then do exactly the opposite -- no fighting, no research, no delicious bacon cheeseburgers -- thereby invalidating everything and thus avoiding Lilith. To that end, Sam orders a Cobb salad while Dean -- despite the fact that "Oprah's girlfriend said" the diner "had the best bacon cheeseburgers in the country" -- opts for something called a "veggie tofu burger," which sounds as revolting as it probably is. They then proceed, in a very amusing manner, to avoid the foreseen diner argument they're supposed to be having at the moment by choosing their words most carefully, with Sam delicately proposing they view this entire situation as "an opportunity" to eliminate the Lilith threat, and Dean just as politely responding, "It...frustrates me when you say such reckless things," with Sam amicably countering, "It frustrates me when you'd rather hide than fight." Heh. Fortunately, their food arrives at this moment of escalating tension. Unfortunately, the waitress screwed up their order, and Dean ends up swallowing a delicious, juicy mouthful of the best bacon cheeseburger in the country anyway. D'OH!