Episode Report Card
Demian: A+ | 8 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys Are NOT Having SEX With Each Other! GOD!

Out on the road, Sam runs through the details of their supposedly impending day, finding each detail more implausible than the last, including Dean awakening from a traffic accident "seeing stars" while "scratching at the pink flower band-aids on his face" before motoring off with a plastic tarp -- a plastic tarp that's "flapping like the wings of a crow," by the way -- covering the Impala's shattered back window, which is just the sort of low-class, douchey thing Dean would never do in his life, ever. They argue about Chuck's narrative reliability for a bit, but in the end, Dean decides to get the hell out of Dodge, pronto, because neither of them is equipped to handle Lilith at this point, but there's a problem: The only bridge out of town -- don't ask -- just got washed out, so Our Intrepid Heroes are trapped. Just go with it. So, the boys backtrack, ending up in the only diner in "Kripke's Hollow" -- which, yeah -- and continue to debate Chuck's premonition until Dean decides their best course of action is to study the premonition's details, then do exactly the opposite -- no fighting, no research, no delicious bacon cheeseburgers -- thereby invalidating everything and thus avoiding Lilith. To that end, Sam orders a Cobb salad while Dean -- despite the fact that "Oprah's girlfriend said" the diner "had the best bacon cheeseburgers in the country" -- opts for something called a "veggie tofu burger," which sounds as revolting as it probably is. They then proceed, in a very amusing manner, to avoid the foreseen diner argument they're supposed to be having at the moment by choosing their words most carefully, with Sam delicately proposing they view this entire situation as "an opportunity" to eliminate the Lilith threat, and Dean just as politely responding, "It...frustrates me when you say such reckless things," with Sam amicably countering, "It frustrates me when you'd rather hide than fight." Heh. Fortunately, their food arrives at this moment of escalating tension. Unfortunately, the waitress screwed up their order, and Dean ends up swallowing a delicious, juicy mouthful of the best bacon cheeseburger in the country anyway. D'OH!

Later, Dean wheels the Impala into the forecourt of "The Toreador Motel," last seen in "Malleus Maleficarum," and the boys disembark for the evening despite the fact that -- as Sam notes with great distaste -- "this place charges by the hour." Dean dismisses Sam's most reasonable qualms by reminding his brother that the book says Lilith finds them at The Red Motel, so it's the whorehouse in the Hollow for the guys tonight. Once inside, Dean drops Princess Sparkle's anti-Lilith hex bags around the room before retrieving Sam's trusty laptop -- no research, don't you know -- and heading back out to park the Impala somewhere unassuming -- to avoid "spending all day riding around," of course -- leaving Sam with the following bits of advice: "Behave yourself, would you? No homework! "Watch some porn." Hee. Even Dean himself indulges in a little smile at that one, and as Sam unleashes yet another massive bitchface for the audience's delectation, Dean exits to...

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