Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: A+ | 9 USERS: A
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The Hardy Boys Are NOT Having SEX With Each Other! GOD!

The Tragic Bachelor Pad Of Lousy Yet Remarkably Accurate Writing. Bugs Bunny arrives home with a fresh supply of healing booze, only to find a most thoroughly annoyed Dean awaiting his arrival from the depths of Chuck's Barcalounger. "Dean!" Bugs starts, even though he knew Dean would be there. "You look terrible." Dean takes a very long moment to gather what little patience he has remaining before deadpanning, "It's 'cause I just got hit by a minivan, Chuck!" Hee. "Oh!" Chuck apologetically exclaims, clutching his fresh supply of healing booze a little more tightly to his chest. HA! This is quite seriously one of the best episodes they've ever aired, and I have reached the point in the evening's proceedings where I will brook no dissent. "I couldn't agree more!" Uh, Raoul? "Yes?!" Have another sip of your flagon because you're starting to freak me...uh, I mean, you wouldn't want so cool and soothing a beverage to get all icky and warm before you finish it, now would you? "Absolutely not, and I thank you most sincerely! [Slurp!]" Yeesh. In any event, Dean's beyond pissed, and he rises slowly from the Barcalounger to take a few, small steps towards Bugs, each step filled with simmering menace, before lunging forward and tossing Chuck up against the wall while shouting, "How the hell are you doing this?" And then? An already awesome episode gets even more so when My Sweet Baboo pops up out of nowhere to command, "Let him go!" Dean spins around, ready to pounce upon the new arrival in sheer frustration, but Castiel's quietly forceful demeanor stops him dead in his tracks. "This man is to be protected," Castiel insists. "Why?" Dean bites. "He is a prophet of the Lord," Castiel announces, and I am not ashamed to admit I got chills up and down my damn fool back when he said that. Kick ass. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Okay, now I'm officially scared. Ignoring me and my quite reasonable fears at the moment, Dean allows his jaw to drop slightly as that particular revelation sinks in, and the camera lingers on his pretty, pretty face for several glorious seconds before all three gentlemen disappear into the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

The Tragic Bachelor Pad Of Lousy Yet Remarkably Accurate Writing. Immediate aftermath. "You!" Bugs breathes. "You're Castiel!" "It's an honor to meet you, Chuck," Castiel intones with hysterical and awesome amounts of seriousness. "I admire your work," Castiel continues, carefully stepping across the holy bachelor detritus on the floor to pick up a copy of "Scarecrow," which he intently and reverently examines while Dean rages at Chuck, "You knew about this and didn't tell us?" "It was too preposterous!" Bugs pleads, pouring himself another water glass full of cheap whiskey. "Not to mention arrogant," he adds. "I mean, writing yourself into the story's one thing," he explains, "but as a prophet? That's, like, M. Night-level douchiness!" Hee hee hee. Bugs chugs back a slug while Dean seethes in Castiel's general direction, "This is the guy who decides our fate?" "He isn't deciding anything," Castiel corrects, never once raising his eyes from "Scarecrow." "He's a mouthpiece -- a conduit for the Inspired Word." "What, like the new New Testament?" Dean frowns, incredulous. "One day," Castiel reveals, now actually caressing "Scarecrow" between his hands, "these books will be known as The Winchester Gospel," and I'm just laughing at everything now, so insert your own Hehs and Hees and HAs yourself from here on out. Though, you know, with that latest revelation, hasn't Castiel just spoiled the end of the series? I mean, if there are still people around to call Chuck's crappy writing a gospel, that means Our Intrepid Heroes somehow avert The Apocalypse, yes? "You are correct!" Raoul agrees agreeably. "However!" he addingly shrieks. "How that dear little Kripkeeper person you keep chit-chatting about reaches that conclusion remains a mystery! Hooray! I just love mysteries!" Well, okay, then. Let's listen to the impressively fanged and somewhat inebriated dragon and shout as one: Hooray for mysteries! "Oh, you are kind! [Slurp!]" Shudder.

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Supernatural

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