Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: A+ | 8 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Are NOT Having SEX With Each Other! GOD!

In any event, Dean flips the paperback over to read the teaser copy: "Along a lonely California highway, a mysterious Woman In White lures men to their deaths." By now, Darling Sammy's had more than enough of this crap, and as he snatches the book from his brother's hands, he orders Jeff to fetch them all the copies he's got.

There follows a revised title sequence I can't possibly do justice to in a recap, but let me assure you that it's pretty goddamned amusing, what with the crap anonymous guitar line over the crap cover-art montage filled with crap first-season beasties like the scarecrow, the wendigo, Pa Bender, and most especially that stupendously idiotic racist truck before the title glides across the screen in a manner terribly reminiscent of CANCELLED! for reasons I'm sure are deliberate. Thanks for nothing, Kripke! You worthless shit.

Ahem. "You sound thirsty! Shall I fetch you a cocktail?!" Not right now, Raoul, but do feel free to fetch one for yourself. It's going to be a very long time before anything of true interest to you appears on the screen. "Thanks! I will!" Excellent.

So, where was I? Oh, yes: Once the end of the title sequence explodes outwards towards the audience, the camera fades up on the interior of this week's motel room, where Dean lies -- fully clothed, alas -- across one of the twins, poring over the books' version of "Route 666" with several other no-doubt enthralling titles in the series open on the bed beside him. By the way, I should probably make sure you know that this episode's very own title refers to this 40-year-old self-referential children's book starring lovable, furry old Grover. For those of you unfamiliar with the plot of said book, this online comic starring lovable, scaly old T-Rex should get you all caught up. (Please note, however, that Raoul will not tolerate discussion of dinosaurs in his presence. I know. Don't get me started.) In any event, Dashing El Deano flips the page and grunts, "This is freaking insane. How's this guy know all this stuff?" Darling Sammy -- over at the table deploying his mad Googling skillz, natch -- sighs, "You got me," for his mad Googling skillz have failed him! DUN! Okay, not really, but this episode -- for all its many, many merits -- is utterly lacking in the exciting-tension department, and I've got to think of something to keep Raoul amused before he gets cranky. "Were you just speaking of moi?!" Only to note that you'd, uh, returned rather quickly from your flagon hunt, friend of friends. "Thanks! I simply can't miss any of the good stuff this evening!" Oh, dear. "Pardon!?" Um, nothing -- let's get back to the scene, shall we? "Let's!"

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Supernatural

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