Episode Report Card
Demian: A+ | 10 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Are NOT Having SEX With Each Other! GOD!

Back at The Tragic Bachelor Pad Of Lousy Yet Remarkably Accurate Writing, Bugs Bunny's passed out in a pool of his own vomit, shuddering and gasping in his booze-induced stupor once another vision hits that whiskey-soaked brain of his. It's Sam, in this week's motel room, with a sassy-looking bleached blonde whose eyes have flipped a milky, opaque white. Uh oh. The blonde perches on one of the twins, invitingly patting the comforter beside her, and Our Intrepid Ginormotron Antichrist crosses the room to loom above her tiny form for an instant before crawling on top of her and then...Chuck snaps out of it! "Well, I NEVER!" Raoul shrieks, and, uh, you have something to add, my scaly friend? "I do indeed! [A-him!] It's been litrilly months since we've seen that charming little lad's remarkably expressive trapezii, and they've ended what was promising to be an utterly bewitching scene far too soon for my tastes most certainly, so there!" That...that's it? "Of course! Why?!" Oh, nothing! Nothing at all -- it was just, uh, calmer than I expected. "Oh, you delightful little man! You're speaking nonsense again! It makes me positively giggle! Hee!" This can't be good. "What!?" Never mind. "Okay! [Slurp!]" Uh, yeah. So, Bugs Bunny snaps out of his latest premonition, or whatever, right before he gets to the good bits, and then he vanishes into the METAL TEETH CHOMP!, and I'm going to keep right on going with this, because Raoul's starting to freak me out. "What?!" Nothing!

The Tragic Bachelor Pad Of Lousy Yet Remarkably Accurate Writing, and poor Rob Benedict looks like an actual, honest-to-God dwarf next to these guys. Heh. In any event, Chuck hesitantly presents Our Intrepid Heroes with the latest chapter of his latest masterpiece. "You especially," he gestures in Dean's direction, "are not going to like this." "I didn't like Hell," Dean deadpans. "Spit it out." Sweet. So, Bugs hems and haws and gulps and sighs and finally drops the Lilith bomb, and the boys react to the news as well as you'd expect, which is to say not very well at all, but Bugs soldiers on to read them all of the sordid details: "Lilith patted the bed seductively. Unable to deny his desire, Sam succumbed, and they sank into the throes of fiery, demonic passion." Sam's immediate snorts of derisive laughter match my own, though I think we're laughing at the above for different reasons. For his part, Dean freaks first over the fact that Lilith normally takes the form of a preadolescent girl. "This time," Bugs assures him, "she's a 'comely dental hygienist from Bloomington, Indiana.'" Hee! Satisfied that Sam's not going to be banging an eight-year-old, Dean next freaks that Sam'll be banging their deadliest foe, and politely asks Bugs to share what happens next with the rest of the class. Unfortunately, Chuck hasn't a clue, because his "process" involves him first receiving a fiery, demonic migraine that he attempts to douse with copious amounts of the healing booze, after which he passes out and receives the premonition, and as we all saw in the last scene, he woke up before the latest premonition had run its course. Then, knowing Dean's about to ask for the sheaf of papers he's got clutched in his hand, Bugs simply stretches out his arm, much to Dean's double-taking dismay. Heh.

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