...Flutter, Flutter RAAAWWWR! "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, and hello there, my unusually quiet recapping companion. Nice of you to join us. "Nice to be here, I'm sure!" Uh oh. "What?!" I detect sarcasm. "I'm sure I haven't the faintest idea what you mean, you charming little man!" Raoul shrieks all faux-agreeably, disingenuously batting his lengthy eyelashes in the general direction of yours truly for added emphasis, and knock it the hell off, Raoul. What gives? "Well, I am sorry, I'm sure!" Raoul shrieks, dropping the act and flopping back against the cushions of his overstuffed armchair in a fit of exasperation. "But fishing!? Really?!" I sense you disapprove of the chosen activity for this evening's teaser, my scaly friend. "You sense correctly!" I see. "Honestly!" Raoul continues, working himself into quite the little tizzy indeed. "That darling little Rue McClanahan lookalike in the opening scene was doing it all wrong! Where were the hand grenades!?" Oh, dear. "Whither the GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE?!" Now, Raoul, you know I love you more than my luggage, but the point of that sequence was to-- "SILENCE! I refuse to continue with your little story until they go back and do it right!" Well, that's not going to happ-- "REFUSE!" Oh, fine. Here:
A fishing float bobs by as the camera heads across the lake's surface to a wooden dock, upon which sits Dashing El Deano, basking in the amber glow of a perfect early-autumn afternoon with rod and reel in hand as he contentedly engages in what has got to be the most boring activity on the face of the planet. Well, it is the most boring activity on the face of the planet until Our Intrepid Hero...tosses a couple of live grenades into the water! "VIOLENCE! WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT VIOLENCE!" Yes, my ridiculously childish and petulant companion, not an instant passes before the grenades erupt, sending hundreds of fish both living and dead into the air before their mangled carcasses cascade down around Dean's delightfully contented yet oddly Rue McClanahan-esque face, with one of the doomed creatures flopping around upon the deck most gruesomely gasping for air until -- at long last -- Dean reaches down to pick it up, whereupon he draws the still-living thing to his mouth and...tears out its steaming innards with his teeth! "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"