Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 9 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Let's Go LARPing With The Hardy Boys!

So, Drag-Queen Raoul next attacks my blubbery onscreen self along with my blubbery onscreen self's companion in LARPing, TWoP Barnes's gender-bending onscreen self, and you know what? "What?!" I'm gonna keep calling them Blubber and The Brain. "Okay!" Drag-Queen Raoul gets her claws into Blubber and The Brain's chests, series premiere-style, and Blubber and The Brain howl and wail and keen and scream in agony as Dashing El Deano finally manages to salt up and douse Drag-Queen Raoul's bones. "Kinky!" Pervert. And with a quick flip of Dean's Zippo, both Drag-Queen Raoul and her bones go up in flames -- appropriate imagery, if you ask me -- and Our Intrepid Heroes plus their temporary compatriots pant and gasp and shiver and shake their collective way into this evening's next METAL TEETH CHOMP!

Pineview Hotel Bar. Aftermath. Blubber downs a healing shot of tequila while The Brain mopes into his bottle of beer, and I should note these are the same cocktails Dean and Sam were enjoying immediately after the last commercial break, and oh, show. Oh, clever, clever show. Anyway, Dean kindly pays for their round, and after a bit of foolishness in which Our Intrepid Heroes pretend to have learned about grave desecration from the Supernatural books, Sam and Dean amble on over to Chuck to harass the unreasonably hirsute prophet one more time regarding the proposed book line extension before flouncing on out of there for good. Well, I'm sure Sam and Dean would flounce on out of there for good, were it not for the inexplicably barred exit doors! DUN! "That's weird," Dean eyebrows, and the weirdness of the situation is confirmed when Our Dear Boys discover that every window in the hotel has been inexplicably locked!" Dun-dun-DUN! "Ooooh! Ooooh!" Have you an answer to their current conundrum, Raoul? "I do! [A-him!] It's those fiendish preadolescents!" Your powers of perspicacity continue to amaze me, Raoul. "Hooray!" Yep, Our Intrepid Heroes did A Very Bad Thing when they vanquished Drag-Queen Raoul, as they learn when the scalped wretch materializes to moan, "Why did you send my mommy away?" Dean's all, "A little gratitude might be in order, here, brat!" until the scalped wretch wails, "My mommy didn't do this to me!" and with that, the wretch sizzles out so we might join...

...Fanboy Fritz -- still in his Hookman costume, natch -- as he languidly lopes down the hallway into...an ambush of Dickensian orphans! "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieks Raoul in an anticipatory manner, for the promise of a violent and sticky end to Fanboy Fritz emanates like a miasma from the trio of preadolescent terrors who now accost him. Fanboy Fritz, however, is singularly unimpressed by their presence, going so far as to groan sarcastically, "Ja! How original! Supernatural bringing me more creepy children! Sigh!" "Miss [Drag-Queen Raoul] wouldn't let us have any fun!" simpers The Menacing Orphan With Lines while Fanboy Fritz, still not getting it, continues to disparage their appearance. Ignoring him, The Menacing Orphan With Lines continues, "But now? We can have all kinds of fun!" and with that, the trio of preadolescent terrors produce knives from behind their backs, and... "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Fanboy Fritz's strangled cry of "Gott in Himmel!" draws Our Intrepid Heroes' attention, but alas, they are too late, for by the time they've arrived on the scene, the trio of preadolescent terrors have scalped and slaughtered Fanboy Fritz, leaving his emptily staring corpse lying in an ever-expanding pool of its own blood. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" "DAMMIT!" I'm sure Dean would swear were he given anything to say at this moment, but I'm afraid he just gets to purse The Almighty Ducky Lips so we might leap back down to...

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Supernatural

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