Supernatural
The Slice Girls

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 5 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Really Need To Wrap That Shit Up

KILL HER. STOP TALKING AND KILL HER. Drunky El Deano continues obstinately to ignore me until Teen Emma lets a very large bronze knife drop into her hand from the sleeve of her jacket, at which point he finally -- finally -- cocks his trusty pearl-handled automatic and points it at her head.

Meanwhile, Action Sammy violates a variety of different traffic rules whilst speeding back to This Week's Motel Room.

OH MY GOD STOP TALKING AND KILL HER ALREADY!

Meanwhile, Action Sammy violates a variety of different traffic rules whilst speeding back to This Week's Motel Room.

FUCKING KILL HER ALREADY, YOU MORON!

Meanwhile, Action Sammy violates a variety of different traffic rules whilst speeding back to...oh, wait a minute -- he's already there. Action Sammy hops out of this week's crapped-out piece of automotive trash and bounds up the motel stairs to his room.

WHY IS SHE STILL ALIVE? DIE! WHY WON'T SHE DIE?!

Action Sammy eavesdrops on the ENDLESS TALKING from the far side of the motel room door.

DIE! DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...oh, hooray! Action Sammy's kicked down the motel room door and, after Teen Emma allows the skin around her eyes to flush blood-red for an instant, he plugs her full of holes. Drunky El Deano is shocked and appalled. Action Sammy is steely-jawed and sweaty. And Dead Emma is dead. FINALLY. With that, Our Intrepid Heroes hastily decamp to motor on over to...

...The Haghouse, where they presumably hope to kill even more Amazons, but alas! When they arrive, they find The Haghouse utterly deserted -- likely because someone tipped the remaining Amazons off about that great, big Charlene-shaped corpse Stupid Sammy left cooling on the university floor. I would hope this means we're never going to see this awful show's awful version of the Amazons ever again, but I know better by now. And on that decidedly depressing and somber note, we enter this evening's final commercial break once again most dreadfully CHOMP!-less.

Crapped-Out Buick. Denouement. And as the thoroughly unpleasant and unnecessarily shouty conversation that follows once again centers around both that damnable Dead Amy and how pathetic Our Intrepid Heroes have become over the course of the last season or so, I'll pretty much ignore the entire thing. You can thank me later.

Next week's episode is entitled "Plucky Pennywhistle's Magic Menagerie," so if you, like Darling Sammy, suffer from crippling attacks of coulrophobia, you'd best be advised to avoid it entirely. As far as everybody else goes, I'll see you then. Have fun!

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Supernatural

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