Supernatural
The Slice Girls

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 5 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Really Need To Wrap That Shit Up

The following morning, Our Intrepid Heroes LIE their way into the latest crime scene, where Coroner Boy introduces them to "Charlene Penn," the lead detective in the current murder investigation, who will of course become far more important later in the episode. And after she excuses herself to, um, go stare at some spatter patterns, or something, Darling Sammy excuses himself to chat with one of our latest corpse's especially nosy neighbors. Long story short, while the deceased "was the nicest guy in the world," he had been having more than a bit of trouble with his wife recently, and in fact had gone so far as to cheat on the woman with "a little one-night fling." Dapper Sam promptly relays this intriguing piece of information to Drunky El Deano, the latter of whom is far more concerned with the fact that he accidentally left Dead Bobby's flask at Vampire Lady's apartment. So, Drunky El Deano dials her up, and during the brief, curt, and awkward conversation that follows, it becomes clear Vampire Lady would just as soon have Drunky El Deano drop off a cliff as ever speak to him again. Dean furrows his brow at his erstwhile paramour's hostile tone but, to his credit, he remains admirably polite throughout the call. For his part, Sam's delighted to learn that one of Dean's conquests obviously wants nothing to do with him ever again. Hee.

And once the call ends, the camera focuses in on Vampire Lady's irritated face for a very long moment before pulling back to reveal she's...approximately eighteen months pregnant already? Whaaaaaa? And with that, we enter this evening's first commercial break most woefully CHOMP!-less, indeed.

We return to find Vampire Lady about to give birth to her insta-fetus in the middle of a candlelit chamber, surrounded by several rather severe-looking middle-aged women. There's some crap from the primary attendant about the pain being "an honor," and then Vampire Lady pushes out an infant girl they collectively decide to name "Emma."

Meanwhile, Our Intrepid Heroes have enlisted the aid of a local anthropology professor in tracing the origins of that peculiar, wavy-armed stick figure. The sly professor first secures a promise of "suitable remuneration" from the FBI for his efforts -- said remuneration including, among other things, a Green Card for his maid -- then suggests they return in a day or so, after he's had a chance to consult his extensive library. Further action on their current case thus delayed, Sam and Dean retire to the hall to piss and bitch at each other for a very lengthy period of time about Dead Bobby and grief, or whatever, until Drunky El Deano takes it upon himself to motor on over to Vampire Lady's apartment, where he intends to retrieve Dead Bobby's flask in person.

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Supernatural

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