This Week's Motel Room, where Drunky El Deano cracks open a couple of beers before bringing Dapper Sam up to speed on recent events. And after a full minute of that, Sam's phone rings. It's the professor, calling with news that will have to wait so we might retire instead to...
...The Haghouse to watch as Head Hag and her henchladies feed strips of raw feet to Tween Emma and four of her equally prodigious fellow acolytes, and no, I'm not kidding with that: The girls are actually eating strips of raw flesh culled from this evening's murder victims as part of some dumbass Amazonian ritual, and as those strips are a little too large to have come from anybody's hand, it must mean they're all eating feet. Lovely. Had my faithful recapping companion not vanished into the night without a trace three and a half weeks ago, I'm sure he'd have something valuable to offer regarding the relative culinary merits of the lumbricales versus the quadratus plantae at this juncture, but as it is, we must simply slip into this evening's next CHOMP!-less commercial break in unnerving and deeply, deeply disturbing silence.
This Week's Nameless University. Our Intrepid Heroes lounge on a couple of chairs in a lecture hall as the professor proceeds to reveal what anyone who read this week's episode description already knew: The peculiar, wavy-armed stick figure carved into the victims' chests is actually a symbol representing the Amazons' immortal benefactress, Harmonia. Yeah, I know -- just go with it.
Meanwhile, over at the police station, Detective Charlene's on the phone with Head Hag back at The Haghouse, and long story short, Detective Charlene -- who, you know: Also an Amazon, in case that hasn't been made clear yet -- has identified Our Intrepid Heroes as "those crazy brothers" who went on a cross-country murder spree a couple of months ago. "They're thugs," Detective Charlene hisses. "But," she adds, "We've dealt with hunters like this before." Head Hag takes a moment, and then declares, "The one is already scheduled to be taken care of -- we'll just simply add the other one to the agenda." DUN! Or not, 'cause you know neither of these ladies will be killing Sam and Dean this evening. Yawn.
This Week's Motel Room. Super-Smart Sammy's deployed his mad Googling skillz to dredge up further information on the Amazons, the most relevant bits of which are these: "The lore says they reproduced quickly -- as in, after mating, they gave birth within thirty-six hours." "The babies grew incredibly fast," Sam continues, "then the aging process became normal." Sam's research also confirms that "the mating cycle is every two years," so Our Intrepid Heroes have now officially caught up with the still-conscious members of their rapidly-dwindling audience. Of course, despite all this evidence, Drunky El Deano still refuses to believe that Tween Emma is actually his daughter, and in honor of the lovely and talented Ghostyouknow's request on the forum boards, I will allow that Drunky El Deano is certainly right about that, as the lack of human DNA in the samples left behind by this evening's killers indicates that this show's Amazons reproduce by means of gynogenesis. So, given all that, Dean should have absolutely no problem shooting Tween Emma in the face when the time comes, right? RIGHT?