Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 2 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys Spew Blasphemous Profanities

...Sam's interview room. One problem: No Sam. D'OH! Detective Show Killer bumbles over to the open window, all, "Huznuh-whaaaa? The fire escape's halfway down the block!" Meanwhile, Linda's retrieved Dean's note from where darling Sammy had -- for some no-doubt-excellent reason -- left it. "These guys," she eye-rolls. "Hilts and McQueen?" Detective Show Killer reads. "What's that?" "'Hilts' is Steve McQueen's character in The Great Escape," Linda smirks. The Show Killer flails around impotently.

A short time later, Linda enters the darkened ladies' room and flicks at the light switch. The fluorescents buzz and flicker, but eventually one above a sink blinks on. Just as Linda stretches her perfectly manicured fingers towards the tap, the hot water swivels on of its own accord. Linda gapes as a billow of steam shoots upwards from the sink. In rapid succession, all of the hot water taps swivel open of their own accord until the ladies' has practically transformed itself into a steam room. Linda catches a movement out of the corner of her eye, and turns slowly to gape at the fogged-over mirror, upon which a set of unseen fingers scrawls out "DANASHULPS." In a nicely creepy touch, the individual down strokes for the letters appear in no discernible order, each of the group just a couple of beats behind simultaneity. Linda angrily swipes a hand down the glass to find...Creepy Blonde Corpse Woman staring back at her in the reflection! Linda whips around to confront Creepy Blonde Corpse Woman, who's lounging around by the stalls, a massive gash dripping open in her throat. Creepy Blonde Corpse Woman shudder-steps forward, her mouth spastically working itself as if to impart a message of great importance. However, even if Creepy Blonde Corpse Woman could talk through that hole in her neck, Linda wouldn't be able to hear what she's saying, because Linda's too busy getting her heavily mascara'd face eaten up by the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

Linda hesitantly enters Dean's interrogation room alone and -- after almost physically willing herself to ask what a part of her still considers to be an insane question, despite her recent experience in the ladies' room -- inquires as to the nature of vengeful spirits. Dean initially offers a snide non-response before patiently explaining the situation. Then Linda nervously reaches up to fiddle with her hair, and Dean spots Creepy Blonde Corpse Woman's calling card: The fresh bruise on Linda's wrist. "Where did you get that?" he demands. "You've seen it, haven't you?" Linda freaks, and turns away from him to rub at her wrists while examining her reflection in the room's two-way mirror. Dean cuts to the chase, reminding her that the last two people who encountered Creepy Blonde Corpse Woman ended up with their throats slit, and he recommends she hook up with darling Sammy posthaste. "You're giving your brother up?" Linda spins on him, disbelieving. "Go to the first motel listed in the Yellow Pages," Dean instructs. "Look for Jim Rockford -- it's how we find each other when we're separated." "You can arrest him, if you want," Dean offers, "or you can let him save your life."

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