Episode Report Card
admin: B | 2 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys Spew Blasphemous Profanities

The First Motel In The Yellow Pages. Up in Monsieur Rockford's luxuriously appointed accommodations, Sam busies himself with research as a knock rattles the door. Sam pulls a double-take when he sees who it is, but Linda just nods encouragingly. A short time later, Sam's peering at Linda's bruises, asking, "And they showed up after you saw it?" "I guess," Linda buhs. Sam orders her to spill everything she knows, and after Linda questions both her sanity and her judgment, she complies. Sam passes her a sheaf of crime-scene and booking photographs of "every girl who's ever died or gone missing from Ashland Street." Linda flips past the first two before recognizing the woman captured on the third as the Creepy Blonde Corpse. "Claire Becker," Sam notes, "28 years old, disappeared about eight or nine months ago." She was also arrested twice before her death for trafficking in narcotics -- specifically, heroin. As Linda worked that particular beat with Detective Show Killer before both transferred to homicide, it's extremely likely the two ladies ran into each other before this evening's assignation in the john. However, Linda doesn't remember anything, so Sam determines they're off to Claire's last known location, a building she was seen entering at "2911 Ashland" right before she disappeared. There, they will search for Claire's rotting corpse. Heh. If they were in Chicago, they'd be hitting the Radio Shack across from the Jewel. Funny thing is, I can sort of buy people finding the rotting remains of missing heroin dealers in the back of that store. When Linda balks at scrounging around Radio Shacks for the rotting remains of missing heroin dealers, Sam drops the "salt and burn their bones" bomb. "It's the only way to put her spirit to rest!" Sam grins. "Of course it is," Linda deadpans. Heh.

Cut to a car that is most certainly not the Impala parked outside a wreck of an apartment building, which makes me sad. About the lack of Metallicar this evening, not the current physical state of some random building in Vancouver. Anyway, Sam and Linda have broken into the building's first-floor storefront and pass their flashlights' beams across empty booze bottles littering the long-abandoned metal shelves of what appears once to have been a hardware store. Sam decides to investigate the upstairs while Linda continues to prowl around on the ground floor. Which she does. For a very long time. In the process finding used needles discarded by junkies. Yawn. Clumsy Sam kicks over a can upstairs, causing Linda to leap around in shock, but there's nothing around her at all. Well, nothing around her at all until she completes a full 360-degree spin, at which point Creepy Blonde Claire Woman unexpectedly pops up in the beam of Linda's flashlight. DUN! Creepy Blonde Claire Woman quickly shudder-steps from her position in front of yet another set of disused shelves to get all up in Linda's face, her mouth once more spastically working itself as if to impart a message of great importance. This time, we get gurgling. "Hooray!" enthuses Raoul, grateful for the hint of gore. "Sam!" Linda manages to shout, backing away from Creepy Blonde Claire Woman, who raises her right arm in Linda's direction, as if reaching out to throttle her. Or, you know, as if reaching out to point at something on the far wall. Whatever. Sam bangs down the stairs to find...Linda completely alone on the main floor. D'OH! Linda fills Sam in on recent events, and the two head over to the set of disused shelves in front of which Creepy Blonde Claire Woman initially appeared. They're blocking a partially boarded window, it turns out, upon which was painted years ago, "ASHLAND SUPPLIES." "Our little mystery word," Linda realizes. The "PLIES" bit, you see, has been worn off over the years. Sam makes note of the streetlight flooding through the visible section of the glass and turns around to discover a massive production error illuminated across the shop's back wall! "Massive production errors also make me want to shriek, 'Eeeeeeeeeeeee!'" Raoul reveals. "But not in the good way." The lettering on the window is solid stenciling on clear glass. The projected image, however, implies the reverse, for rather than black letters appearing against an otherwise illuminated wall, we've got illuminated letters appearing against an otherwise black wall. Bad Supernatural production staff! Do it on the paper! "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" shrieks Raoul. With dismay!

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