Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 2 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Spew Blasphemous Profanities

GO BACK INTO THE GLOOM continues to flout my primary directive, and steps forward to gloat, almost, at the fifteen-foot-tall human-shaped blob in the blurry foreground of the shot.

Back at the precinct, The Show Killer notes, "So, now we now Karen Giles wasn't the first person you murdered..."

"Goin' somewhere, Sam?" Linda Blair challenges. Action Sammy temporarily conceals his true identity behind a mask of anguished and utterly innocent befuddlement, but does manage to deploy The Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes in the general direction of Linda Blair's wattle as the SWAT snipers' laser sights dance across his remarkably broad chest.

"...but I guarantee you she's the last," The Show Killer concludes, finally rising to exit the frame. The camera lingers to swing around Jensen Ackles's head so Dean might at long last offer us all a pair of defiant ducky lips that get swallowed up by the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

RAAAWWWR! "Eeeeeeeeeeeee! Thanks. I feel so much better."

Back in the precinct house, Sam peers through the blinds at the world outside one of the interview rooms on an upper floor as Linda Blair enters behind him with a cup of coffee, and this should be interesting. Not the scene, which is boilerplate procedural stuff about good cops and bad cops and murder charges for one brother while the other's staring down hard time for aiding and abetting and whatnot. No, what should be interesting is the fancy camerawork that's going to be required to keep wee tiny little five-foot-two Linda Blair and ginormously sun-blotting fifteen-foot-tall Jared Padalecki in the same shot. And look at that! After a couple of initial attempts with the two planted far across from each other on opposite sides of the room, they don't even bother, choosing instead for a series of cuts between mid-angles on their respective faces. Cheaters! Linda Blair claims she knows all about our darling Sammy, then sets to prove it by reading from his file, "You're twenty-three years old, no job, no home address, your mother died when you were a baby, your father's whereabouts are unknown." "And then there's the case of your brother, Dean," she adds, "whose demise was, well, just a little bit exaggerated." Sigh. They never get that quote right on the TV. "And you'd think Linda Blair would have corrected it," interjects Raoul, "given the fact she's old enough to have heard the original version straight from Mark Twain's mouth." You bitch. "Takes one to know one, doll." In any event, while Raoul and I have been going on like that, Linda Blair's offered Sam the opportunity to step in and narrate his own biography. Sam huffily declines, so Linda continues, "Your family moved around a lot when you were a kid, yet despite that, you were a straight-A student -- got into Stanford with a full ride." I'm betting that all happened before he discovered pornography. "Demian, darling," Raoul notes, "given the way the boy was so intently examining the images on his motel TV in that episode, I think he only just discovered pornography three weeks ago."

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Supernatural

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