Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 2 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys Spew Blasphemous Profanities

"Then Dean went back to Karen's place to check up on her," Sam LIES. "I mean, she'd been pretty upset earlier." "So, why didn't you go with him?" Linda Blair demands, suddenly supremely suspicious. Sam shrugs that he just went back to the motel before too-casually wondering how they knew he was there in the first place. The cops found a matchbook in Dean's pocket when they arrested him, natch. Now Linda would like to get down to bwass tacks, if you will, accusing Dean of leaving his brother alone so he could wander off and slaughter the grieving widow. Sam's bleats of protests are overwhelmed by Linda's braying, "I heard the 9-1-1 call! Karen was terrified! She said someone was in the house!"

We've cut over to The Weepy Widow Giles, who's ensconced in her darkened living room, curled up on the sofa with a box of tissues, watching what appears to be an old John Garfield movie. Suddenly, a shadowy figure passes in front of the camera. The Widow Giles starts and pulls off her eyeglasses to stare fuzzily at the far room. Seeing nothing -- because she's evidently blind as a bat -- she slips her glasses back on to find...a creepy blonde corpse woman grinning at her through the French doors! As the strings go apeshit on the soundtrack, The Widow Giles gasps and flails about for the switch on the nearby lamp. She flicks on the light and spins back around to find...nothing lurking behind the French doors at all! The Widow Giles panics anyway and races towards the front of the house, eventually reaching the stairs to the second floor, which she shakily takes almost two at a time to reach...

...her bedroom, where she shuts and locks the door before retrieving the phone to dial the police. She's barely managed to give the dispatcher her address when the connection cuts out. The surrounding lamps buzz and flicker and finally short out, just as the bedroom's computer printer noisily kicks into gear and shoots out a page full of "nashulpsdanashulpsdanashulpsdanashulpsdanashulpsdanashu." The Widow Giles warily reaches for the knob on the closet door, and slowly pulls the thing open to reveal...absolutely nothing untoward inside! She hastily rummages around for a flashlight, which she switches on just in time to turn around and land herself...a faceful of Creepy Blonde Corpse Woman! DUN! The Widow Giles erupts in a mighty wail of terror right before vanishing into the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

Past Dean bangs the knocker on The Widow Giles's front door. Not receiving an answer, he eyes the surrounding street for a moment before picking the lock. Once inside, he flips the wall switch, to no avail. Eventually, he wanders up to the second floor and eases open the bedroom door to find The Widow Giles lying dead in a pool of blood. "A pool of blood that is positively ruining her lovely low-pile carpeting!" Raoul points out. Dean notes the deep slash in The Corpse Of The Widow Giles's neck right before finding the crazy-ass nashulpsdanashu printout by the computer. "What the hell?" he grunts, squatting down to examine the decedent's wrists, which are bruised as if they'd been bound prior to her murder. Unfortunately, before Dean can get a close look at them, a female beat cop pops up behind him to order, "Freeze! Stay on your knees, hands where I can see them -- now!" Dean looks moderately put out by this latest development as the cop's partner cuffs him.

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