Crowley's Rattrap. Our Intrepid Heroes load a couple of duffels with various implements of demonic destruction while bickering about the decision to work with Crowley for a bit until The Crossroads Boss himself enters from points unknown to smoothly ask if Dean's ready. Dean's all, "Buh?" so Crowley patiently explains that Sam will be remaining behind to keep the home fires burning at the rattrap because for one thing, Crowley doesn't like Sam, and for another, Crowley doesn't trust Sam, and for a third, Crowley's getting pretty annoyed with how Sam keeps trying to kill him. And while all of that seems perfectly reasonable to me, Sam -- for whatever bizarre and just-appearing character reason that I'm sure will become important by the time the season finale rolls around in two weeks -- flies into a spitting rage, and he gets all beetle-browed and screamy and such, but long story short, Dashing El Deano agrees to do this Crowley's way, so Darling Sammy will just have to learn to live with his crushing disappointment. Or something like that. And how, exactly, does Darling Sammy learn to live with said crushing disappointment?
By getting sloppy on some off-brand whiskey and drunk-dialing Bobby, of course! "Atta girl! [Slurp!]" "And then Dean just walks right out the door, with Crowley!" Drunk Sammy whines. "He's so mean to me sometimes!" Bobby, clearly as tired of this bullshit as I am, wearily takes a slug of scotch and agrees that yes, Dean can be so mean to Sam sometimes, but he's probably just saying that to get the gigantic boozy mess with the tragic hair off the goddamned phone already. Unfortunately for both of us, Drunk Sam takes Bobby's response as license to babble about the astoundingly stupid idea the alcohol just gave him, which goes a little like this: Remember when Bobby got his damn fool self possessed, and then wrested control of his body from the demon in question long enough to jam The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't into his hefty beer gut, thereby severing his spinal cord? Yeah, well, Drunk Sam's decided that if Bobby can do that, so can he, and he's now determined to say yes to Satan, just so he can then wrest control of his body back from the fallen archangel in question long enough to leap into that divinely constructed cage deep beneath the ruins of St. Mary's Convent, after which Bobby and Dean will seal the cage with The Horsemen's rings, thereby leaving Darling Sammy and Lucifer to rot with each other for all eternity. In Maryland. "[Shudder!] [Slurp!] [Shudder!]" Needless to say, Bobby vociferously opposes this astoundingly stupid idea in the hoariest language imaginable, because Bobby is an ornery frontier coot given to elaborately outdated turns of phrase. And...are we done, here? "We are!" Excellent. Next!