...and we're back. As efficient crime-scene techs scoop up evidence, Darling Sammy towers gape-faced and distressed above a cluster of fluttery eyewitnesses while inside the store, smoove El Deano's laying the smarm on thick for the benefit of a shell-shocked sales assistant. Oh, did I say "smarm"? "You did!" Oops. I meant something far more complimentary, I'm sure. "LIAR! Hee!" Sam interrupts the festivities, and there follows an insipid little scenelet between the brothers in which pissypants bitchface Sam makes clear his disdain for slutty El Deano's deal-induced desire to nail as many shell-shocked sales assistants as he can while slutty El Deano guilts pissypants bitchface Sam into shutting up about the whole thing because slutty El Deano, after all, has only a year to live, and thank CHRIST Bobby saunters over at this point in a spiffy-looking suit to relate what he discovered while posing as an assistant district attorney, because I now want to beat both Sam and Dean with a stick until they are dead. Thanks for nothing, show. In any event, and long story short, Bobby's convinced Jawzilla's not possessed, partly because he spilled a little holy water on her just to make sure, and partly because the desiccated Dallas fans plus Jawzilla beating a woman to death over a pair of lime-green high-heeled Crocs most certainly indicates something demonic's afoot, but mainly because he...read the spoilers? Figured out the episode title? I don't know, and I don't particularly care, because the BORING's just cost me another fifty million brain cells, and I just want this over with. So, the gents retire to the store's security office to peruse footage of the taste-free and snotty brunette's final moments on the planet, in the process discovering the existence of The Envious Suburbanite, because for some reason this show's decided to fuck around with its already-established demonology and the security camera, instead of buzzing and flickering and blinking on and off at the crucial moment, instead offers them all a strikingly clear image of the guy's face. WHATEVER.
Episode Report CardDemian: C- | 1037 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT