...Hell. As Strauss's "Blue Danube Waltz" plays over Hell's loudspeaker system, a new arrival takes a number and steps to the back of an endless line of 6,611,527,124 similarly damned souls to wait his turn at the front. Which, of course, none of them will ever reach, as Flashback Crowley explains to Flashback Castiel. You see, when Flashback Crowley took over, he decided to redesign Hell's entire set-up. "The problem with the old place," he notes, "was most of the inmates were masochists already -- a lot of 'Thank you, sir, can I have another hot spike up the jacksy?' -- but just look at them. No one likes waiting in line." "What happens when they reach the front?" Flashback Castiel wonders. "Nothing!" Flashback Crowley chipperly replies. "They go right back to the end again -- that's efficiency!"
And now that that's out of the way, let's cut to the chase: Long story short, Flashback Crowley plays on Flashback Castiel's vanity -- which, as it turns out, is not inconsiderable -- and he convinces him to initiate that Heavenly civil war we've been hearing so much about all season long. He also convinces My Flashback Baboo to go halfsies with him on the "30 or 40 million" beastie souls now trapped in Purgatory, and even fronts him 50,000 of the damned so Flashback Castiel can make a bit of a splash when he returns to Heaven to challenge Flashback Raphael. "God chose you to save us," Flashback Crowley insists, "and I think, deep down, you know that." "I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment," Current Castiel's Voiceover sighs as Flashback Castiel silently agrees to Flashback Crowley's plan, "or the next."
Enron Heaven. Flashback Castiel, freshly empowered by those fifty thousand previously damned human souls, walks up to Flashback Raphael and zaps him into temporary oblivion with his magic hand. "There will be no Apocalypse," Flashback Castiel announces to those members of Flashback Raphael's Holy Host who remain, "and let it be known: You're either with Raphael, or you're with me." "And so went the road of good intentions," Current Castiel's Voiceover mourns.








