Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 2011 USERS: B-
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The Hardy Boys Just Have Their Party On TV

So, long story short, there follows a tearful farewell scene between Jimmy and Amelia that would be very touching, I'm sure, if: A. I gave a shit about these people which, as I believe I mentioned before, I most certainly don't; and B. I didn't know Mrs. Jimmy was demonically enhanced, which I figured out two goddamned scenes ago when it took her so frigging long to get to the Impala. Next!

Crazy Sammy hotwires a sedan for Secretly Evil Amelia, and after Jimmy bids his family goodbye, he crawls into Metallicar's back seat to motor off towards points unknown with Our Intrepid Heroes. And then, the moment the Impala's out of sight? Mrs. Jimmy's eyes flip beetle black, and she hauls off and smacks the goddamn enamel clean off that British brat's teeth! Hooray! "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Just not my day, now is it?" Openly Evil Amelia seethes before adding for good measure, "You little bitch." HA!

Out on the road, as Jimmy sleeps, Dean finally wonders what happened to Crazy Sammy's Mighty Hand Of Discontent back at Chateau Novak. Crazy Sammy hems and haws and squirms and frowns and is right about to LIE his remarkably healthy and tantalizing ass off when his cell rings. Grateful for the interruption, he answers to find Amelia on the other end, and he prods Jimmy awake to pass the phone back to their passenger. Jimmy presses the thing to his ear, listens for all of three seconds, and mutters, "Oh, my God!" right before the Impala veers straight into the METAL TEETH CHOMP! and Jesus Christ, this is dull. How about we rewind to the child abuse for a little bit, friend of friends? "Capital idea, I must say!" Excellent.

So, after your faithful recapper and his faithful recapping companion rewind to rewatch Demonically Enhanced Mrs. Jimmy slap the crap out of that ungrateful little brat far more times than either of us can count, and after we then head over to You Tube to catch more of the same from a modern American classic, I finally decide to call an end to all of the fun and drag us back to this hideously tedious episode. "Rats!" I feel you, friend of friends. Trust me on that.

Supernatural

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