Now that that particular disaster's been averted, where was I? Oh, yeah: The disaster on the television screen. Any sense of horror The Samalike might be experiencing at the moment due to those maggots instantaneously ratchets up about fiftyfold when Frankendoc looms into view, snapping open and shut one of those antediluvian bone scissors I'm sure I last saw in From Hell a few years back. "Excellent film!" I knew you were going to say that. "You must be psychic!" SO, Frankendoc -- who's got piebald patches of human skin not his own stitched into a crazy pattern across his skull beneath that soiled O.R. mask of his -- sets the bone scissors aside for a moment to retrieve a rusty scalpel, with which he opens a thin, bloody line down The Samalike's heaving chest, and Raoul's already hurling himself into a tizzy of massive proportions over there on his overstuffed armchair in anticipation of what's to come. In any event, Frankendoc then -- just out of our view beneath the bottom of the screen, of course -- clutches those bone scissors and snap!, snap!, SNAP!s his way up through the incredibly still-conscious Samalike's sternum before...CRRRRACK! The Samalike's heart monitor leaps up into a pizzicato of pain as Frankendoc splits open his ribcage with an antiquated spreader, and just when we think we'll be getting little more than those few spritzes of blood on Frankendoc's mask, the camera hops around as Frankendoc actually and on screen yanks The Samalike's squishy and still-beating heart from his chest! "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Well, I guess that was worth the wait, wasn't it, my scaly and aggravatingly youthful friend? "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Careful -- you're going to strain your vocal cords again. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" You're not going to stop shrieking for hours, are you? "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Oy. So, as Frankendoc lifts the bloody organ out of The Samalike's now-gaping chest cavity, the flashy little heart monitor on the fresh corpse's wrist flatlines straight into the METAL TEETH CHOMP! "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!"
Episode Report CardDemian: B | 1609 USERS: B-
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