Unfortunately, the camera cuts away from the shapeshifter-delivered smackdown that follows, and we join Our Intrepid Heroes down in the panic room as they anxiously listen to the delightful sounds of the all-out Campbell thrashing now taking place somewhere above their heads. Sam stupidly -- stupidly -- decides to return topside to help, but before he makes it halfway across the floor...his ginormous doppelganger pops up in the door's window! DUN! Fake Sam rips the panic room's door off its hinges, and because Fake Sam is far better at the hand-to-hand than Real Sam is, Real Sam soon finds himself sprawled unconscious out in the hall. Fake Sam next begins to advance upon Dean, but then pauses about a dozen feet away from him. And in a very "special" "effect" ripped straight from the Satanic Hell that was CANCELLED!, Fake Sam squiggles, and turns into Fake Dean. And I have officially had enough of this bullshit, so let's cut to the chase: Squiggly Fake Dean hoists Real Dean up into a chokehold, latches onto The New And Improved Fresh Infant while Real Dean is thus otherwise occupied, and hurls Real Dean off to one side so it might casually exit with its child.

And after it's all over, we return to the main floor with Real Dean to discover -- to our immense dismay -- that Girl Campbell and Soul-Sucking Corin Nemec have survived to plague another episode. We also receive the following bit of Additional Show Mythology: That last adult shapeshifter was actually The Alpha Shapeshifter. In other words, it is the original shapeshifter from which all lesser shapeshifters descend, which explains both its great power and the telepathic link it shares with all of its offspring, and seriously? Seriously? They renewed this show for a sixth goddamned season, just so it can start ripping off Anne Fucking Rice? Supernatural can blow me. "Demian!" Don't "Demian!" me, lizard. I told you this season had already pushed me to the brink, didn't I? "You did!" Well, this just kicked me over. "Oh, you poor dear! Shall I fetch you something soothing?!" That's probably a good idea, Raoul. I've a feeling I'll need it after I plow through the five godforsaken minutes that remain in this hateful episode. "Whee!" Aw. It's good to have him back.