Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 1465 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Schedule Vasectomies. Again.

New New Bendy Estates. The doorbell rings, and it's a delivery guy with a couple of pizzas. Supremely Paranoid El Deano, you see, "forgot" that they were supposed to go out for lunch. Bendy Lisa stares at him for a second all, "I have one nerve left, asshole, and you are tap-dancing all over it with those goddamned steel-toed hunting boots of yours," then icily announces she'll scrounge up some plates. The Brat sullenly regards his mother's dicksmack of a slampiece for a very long while, then just as sullenly trails after her into the kitchen. Supremely Paranoid El Deano gulps.

Lansing. Dapper Sam descends The Death House's front steps, babbling away on his cell to -- wait for it -- Zombie Grandpa. As Dapper Sam's found no traces of sulphur or EMF in The Death House, he's inclined to believe This Is Not Their Kind Of Thing. Zombie Grandpa, much like his aggressively bow-legged grandson did in years past, proceeds to argue This Is Totally Our Kind Of Thing, You Idiot, And If You Knew What You Were Doing, You'd Understand That. Moron. To be more specific about it all, Zombie Grandpa notes that four couples have been slaughtered in Ingham County over the last couple of days, and each of those couples had a fresh infant who's now gone missing. "Either we got monsters grabbing babies to make baby stew," he impatiently growls, "or we got a bunch of psychotic yokels grabbing babies to make baby stew. Either way, it's baby stew." It pleases me to note you've not gone all drooly on me, Raoul. "I beg your pardon?!" shrieks Raoul, an instantly affronted yet immaculately manicured paw fluttering up to clutch at his nonexistent pearls. "Human infants!? Really! What sort of base, sordid, déclassé dragon do you take me for, hmmmm?!" Just checking. "HMPH!" Oh, don't pout. Here -- have a snack. "Why, I do believe I shall!"

And while Raoul eviscerates another pawful of white mice in that impressively fanged maw of his, Dapper Sam...wait. Where the hell was I? Oh yeah: This Is Not Their Kind Of Thing/This Is Totally Their Kind Of Thing. So, Dapper Sam agrees to continue his investigation in Lansing, because even if this is a case of The Benders redux -- which it's not, because we all saw those shapeshifters in the THEN! -- it'll still be well worth his while to prevent any more murders while maybe saving those four missing fresh infants as well. Just then, Eagle-Eyed Sammy spots a sign on The Death House's front lawn, which reminds him of something the detective said earlier. "The alarm never went off," he reveals to Zombie Grandpa. "You mind taking a quick look, seeing if anyone else had a system from Harper Caine Security?" Zombie Grandpa agrees, but not before he makes some lousy joke about these goshdarn newfangled computing doohickeys all the kids are talking about nowadays. When is Zombie Grandpa going to drop dead again?

Supernatural

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP