Inside a cave, we pan across slimy rock walls to find Tommy strung up by his arms. I guess he's not kibble after all! Various "native" instruments tinkle and clink as we pan over to one of the other dudes from the opening attack. That guy -- let's call him Seattle 1996 due to the plaid and the flannel -- opens his eyes and looks in fear as some growling thing apparently approaches. We get a glimpse of a skinny-ass arm attached to an upright, man-sized monster, but then cut to shadows flitting here and there as whatever it is starts invisibly eating Seattle 1996. Well, I guess I didn't need to put all that effort into that nickname, now did I?
Commercials. The Reject Rescue Team hikes through completely non-threatening and highly familiar Vancouverian woods. Dean starts in on Roy, asking him about his hunting habit. Roy tells him he hunts "Mostly buck. Sometimes bear." Dean snarks, "So tell me, Bambi or Yogi ever hunt you back?" a comment that causes Roy to grab Dean by the arm rather violently. The group pulls up behind them, and everyone looks tense until Roy grabs a stick off the ground and jabs it into the dirt, causing a bear trap to snap closed. Roy: 1. Dean: 0. Bee: Asleep. Roy says, "You should watch where you're walking...Ranger." Hailey catches up to Dean: "You didn't pack provisions, you guys are carrying a duffel bag. You aren't rangers, so who the hell are you?" Dean signals Sam to leave him alone with this tasty bear bait for a minute. He confesses that they are also looking for someone, and when Hailey asks why he didn't just tell her that in the first place, Dean nonsensically responds, "I'm telling you now. Besides this is probably the most honest I've ever been with a woman. Ever." Um, gold star for you, then? They stare at each other for a long boring moment and then Hailey says all the lying is okay. Dean cracks, "And what do you mean I didn't pack provisions," before pulling out an economy-sized bag of peanut M&Ms.More walking. More tamed trails and forest. Well, looky here, they've arrived at Blackwater Ridge. Now, this is a disappointment. This "backcountry" looks about as crazy remote as the community garden around the corner from my apartment. Dean asks Sam, "Do you hear that?" and Sam says, "Yeah. Not even crickets." Ah, the sounds of silence. Roy goes off alone to take a look around despite Sam's warning: "Fool! You do not know, silence like a cancer grows!" Okay, he doesn't really say that, but I sort of wish he had. Said something that doesn't bore me to tears, that is. The Reject Rescue Team follows Roy while looking frightened of all the beautiful sunlight and lush greenery. Roy calls out to them, and they all rush down the trail (the DANGEROUS! BACKCOUNTRY! TRAIL!), only to come upon the destroyed campsite, the tents ripped apart and splattered with blood. Hailey drops her backpack and starts screaming, "Tommy? Tommy?" and we get a full-body shot of her in her hiking shorts and I start screaming with her. Because her skinny, skinny legs look for all the world like two sticks of beef jerky. Sam rushes up to her and tells her to be quiet because "Something might still be out there." Dean calls Sam over to show him that "the bodies were dragged from the campsite. But here the tracks just vanish." Hailey finds Tommy's Treo in the mud just before a man's voice hoarsely screams for help in the distance.