Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Crying Won't Help The Hardy Boys
two exchange A Look Fraught With More Significance Than I've Ever Recapped In My Entire Life before Dean picks his way back across the yard back towards My Sweet Baboo. "I give myself over wholly to serve God and...you guys," he allows, with more than a hint of defiance coloring the words. Castiel ignores Dean's tone and earnestly continues the ceremony with, "You swear to follow His Will and His Word as swiftly and obediently as you did your own father's?" and Dean can barely stifle a derisive snort as he replies, "Yes, I swear." Okay, fine. Maybe Dean actually means it, and I'm just projecting my own hatred of Daddy Shut Up onto the stumpy little bow-legged midget, but that's a Sam-sized loophole in the contract, isn't it? Whatever. Not worth worrying about now, I suppose, and with the ritual thus complete, Dean immediately snaps, "Now what?" "Now you wait," Castiel counsels, "and we call on you when it's time." With that, the camera rises far above the scene, and at the very last moment, Dean uncomfortably drops his eyes from Castiel's right before we all fall into the first commercial break most woefully CHOMP!-less.

Psycho Central. The insane crazy person slumps against the wall as the camera pans across the cluttered cot in the foreground of the frame, and oh jeez. The only reading materials Bobby and Dean saw fit to provide their prisoner are old copies of Weekly Woodsman. No wonder Sam's gone nuts. In any event, Psychotic Sammy suddenly feels all tingly in his fingertip area, and looks down to find...his veins about to explode with bitterly black demonic foulness! "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Yep, every last pathway through the dear boy's circulatory system now swells up with goo, starting with the ones in his Mighty Hands Of Discontent before traveling swiftly all the way up to his heretofore pretty, pretty face. Psychotic Sammy starts screaming, but...

...Dean and Bobby have far more pressing matters to discuss, specifically the fact that Dean -- as Bobby so adeptly puts it -- "willingly signed up to be the angels' bitch." Heh. Dean simmers for a moment before getting all shouty about everything, and long story short, he claims he had no choice, but that's not important right now, for Psychotic Sammy's quite unexpectedly gone very, very quiet. Ooops. Dean and Bobby hustle downstairs and rip open the peep-hole to discover...Psychotic Sammy convulsing on the floor! DUN! Of course, Dean and Bobby consider the possibility that Psychotic Sammy's faking it, but when the insane crazy person goes flying against the walls in bursts of involuntary telekinetic energy, the captors wait not an instant before rushing into the cell to wrestle Sam's flailing body onto the cot, and Bobby shoves a belt into Sam's mouth to prevent choking and whatnot before the two chain Sam to the bed. "Kinky!" Not like that, Raoul. God! "Hee! [Slurp!]"

A little while later, Psychotic Sammy emerges from his epileptic fugue to find Dashing El Deano standing a the foot of the bed...or is he? Yep, the insane crazy person's actually just talking to himself again, but this time around, Psychotic Sammy's subconscious reached back into the recesses of his freakish Cro-Magnon skull to yank out a reasonable facsimile of his brother, and because this conversation isn't really happening, I'm going to skip ahead to rejoin...

...Bobby and Dean up in the parlor, where Bobby once more gives voice to his reservations regarding the entire situation, only this time around -- taking into account Psychotic Sammy's recent harrowing seizure, of course -- Bobby's convinced they're actually killing The Ginormotron Antichrist by keeping him locked up, and suggests they release him into the wild so he might frolic and suck on Princess Embolism's corpse arm once more. "I'm not giving him demon blood!" Dean quietly insists, almost weeping like the gigantic pussy he truly is. "And if he dies?" Bobby demands. "At least he dies human!" Dean shouts, and this debate isn't going anywhere good anytime soon, so let's hop back down to...

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Supernatural

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