Supernatural

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Cindy McLennan: B- | 7 USERS: A-
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The Hardy Boys Dick Around

43 Hours earlier in Rock Ridge, Colorado: Posing as Agents Tyler and Perry, the boys view their latest corpse -- Frank O'Brien (he should have been named Frank Johnson), who is three days dead. Sam lets the coroner (we'll call him Dr. Johnson) know they find it curious that a 44-year-old marathoner dropped dead of an apparent heart attack, but Dr. Johnson's rather laconic response is that people die all the time, which is why he has job security. TV episodes are, like this one, often a mixed bag, which is why I have job security. Dean notes that yesterday, two perfectly healthy males dropped dead in Maumee, which seems strange. Dr. Johnson says that seems like Maumee's problem, and wants to know why the FBI cares, anyhow. I guess his gig really is solid. Dean says they just want to see Frank's autopsy results. Dr. Johnson says, "What autopsy?" Okay, he's just flaunting the job security now. Dean replies, "The one you're going to do," because nobody fires a fake G-Man. As Dr. Johnson slices into Frank's chest, we're treated to evocative sound effects, and my phone rings. What the Hell, I'll answer it.

Hello? "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Yes, hi Raoul. I don't think this scene is up to your standards. For one thing, there's no violence. It's just an autopsy. "For what manner of blood-thirsty ghoul do you take me, madam?" Was that rhetorical? "I beg your pardon if I'm repeating myself, but I must know -- you used to be a little girl, didn't you? Anyhow, as I was going to say, I do enjoy a bit of clinical gore from time to time, I'm sure. This scene will serve as a wash to rid myself of the opal-eyed evil, evil thing in the 'THEN!' segment." You mean Lilith? "EEEEEEEEEEIIIII!" Raoul? Raoul? "Hello?" Demian, is that you? "Yeah, um..." How are you feeling? "I'm getting there. Listen, I just took the phone to tell you I have to hang up. I...er...I have to get Raoul down from the ceiling and get out the Spackle. Again." Oh. Okay, sorry. "No, I understand. All too well. I'll keep him off the phone tonight, if it kills us both, and I hope to be back to recapping in time for November Sweeps." That's great, just don't hurt your shoulder again, dragon wrangling. Dial tone. I'm so glad he's getting better. Note to self: Substitute gigs are not secure gigs, Stupid.

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Supernatural

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