A Bunch of Idiots

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Mixing It Up

Jonas asks Colton what's up with Alicia. Colton says he's sticking with the guys. Jonas interviews that while the rest of them are busting their asses building the shelter, Colton is doing no work and kibitzing with the women. Jonas doesn't understand how Colton gets away with it. Because you let him? Because you do imbecilic things like agree to give up immunity as a tribe just because he says so and you're afraid to go against him? Because you won't make a move to vote him out? Colton assures Jonas that he's only pretending to be on the women's side, but they're going to vote out Christina. Jonas interviews that he doesn't know what to believe anymore, and that Colton might be running both tribes now.

Now that Kim is feeling a little more secure in her tribe, she decides to go look for the Immunity Idol for her tribe. Hey, I wonder if there is another one at the new camp location? And then Kim finds it! These aren't really hidden so much as placed. Kim walks back to camp and says my favorite line of the season so far to Chelsea: "I just found the Hidden Immunity Idol and it's in my crotch." Awesome. They make sure no one is looking and Kim pulls it out and shows Chelsea. Kim interviews that she trusts Chelsea more than anyone else so she wanted to let her in on it, but she does make Chelsea promise not to breathe a word. Kim tells Chelsea that they need to be careful not to be seen as a pair and keep trying to make as many alliances as possible, but they agree that they're in great shape.

Over at Manono, the tribe has set up a chicken trap by propping up a crate and probably putting food in there? Someone notices that there is a chicken in the crate so Monica runs over and pulls out the prop, trapping the chicken inside. Alicia, Christina and Monica all start celebrating and then the chicken just runs out of the crate, which was apparently open on one side. That really demonstrates everything you need to know about this hapless tribe. They are out of hap. Colton interviews that these people suck at Survivor and Monica and Christina are both on the outs. However, probably due to all the time he spent at their camp (or from talking to Alicia), Colton knows that Monica has some juice and Christina has none, thus Christina will be easy to get rid of post-merge. So he thinks Monica has to go. No! Not Monica! I like Monica.

Colton and Alicia are out in the water and Colton lays out his plan. Basically, he says that they have to vote out Monica and then Christina. Instead of telling him he's fucking nuts, Alicia agrees. She does make Colton promise that he'll have her back, though. I have to say, I'm not even sure why Colton is doing this. He's got a majority with the men. They don't need the women. Why did he even pretend like he was going to vote with them? It seems like all that does is piss off potential jury members. Then again, I don't understand Colton's endgame at all, if he even has one. Colton interviews that his strategy all along has been to "get rid of the head of the snake" and he thinks "it's pretty brilliant." Of course he does.

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