Survivor
A Bunch of Idiots

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Mixing It Up

Manono returns from the challenge. Tarzan immediately takes a nap, because he's a man after my own heart. Everyone else tries to put a good face on things, by saying that there was almost no way they were going to win such a physical challenge against that competition and at least it wasn't a shut-out. Alicia interviews that she and Colton will be putting on an Oscar performance because they're blindsiding Monica. Do you think Alicia and Colton think they are coming off as really smart to the viewers at home? Do they care? I think Colton believe he'll be a "love to hate him" type. And honestly, how many of those are there? The early years of Boston Rob, maybe? Richard Hatch? Most of the other assholes on this show, I just hate them and want them gone, from Johnny Fairplay to Russell on down.

Monica whispers to Leif that if they are planning to vote off a woman tonight, they should think about staying strong. In other words, vote off useless Christina or Alicia, not me. Colton tells Jonas that they're voting Monica off and that Alicia is "following [him] like a fiddle." That's not a saying at all. Fiddles don't follow anyone. Dummy. Jonas interviews that his strategy is to follow Colton as long as it means voting someone else out and getting him one step closer to the end. That's all well and good, but juries hate people that ride coattails. Jonas has to make a move at some point if he really wants to win.

Alicia and Christina talk about how they should vote out Tarzan because he's weak in challenges. Alicia smartly tells Christina that they shouldn't talk about it anymore, since they agree. Then Alicia's "acting" skills won't be tested. Alicia goes and tells Jonas that they're voting out Tarzan and Jonas agrees. Colton, standing nearby, says that he and Jonas were just saying that. Monica walks over and Christina tells her not to tell Tarzan. Colton nails it home by saying that they have to start winning challenges. Monica interviews that the guys have lost sight of the numbers game and she can't believe they're giving up the majority. MONICA! Wake up! Can you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth? It sounds too good to be true, because it IS too good to be true.

Leif wanders over and he and Jonas go through the whole, "So we're voting out Tarzan?" thing for Christina's benefit. Jonas interviews that ever since Leif ratted them out to Bill, he doesn't really trust Leif anymore. Are we supposed to think they are keeping Leif in the dark about the vote? Because that would be dumb. What if Alicia changes her mind? Shouldn't they at least make sure the four men are voting the same way? Colton takes Tarzan and Leif out in the woods and tells them they're voting out Monica. Tarzan has to be reminded who she is. Colton explains that Alicia is voting with them and they need to keep their mouths shut about it. Colton interviews that he gave them the deal, but you have to tell Tarzan a bunch of times and keep repeating it. Colton's not exaggerating; he's already had to tell Tarzan, like, three times and Tarzan has legit forgotten. Colton interviews that he's worried Tarzan might write down "Jenny" and whines that it's "hard being the leader of a bunch of idiots." Cry me a river, pal.

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Survivor

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