Fortunately, no one else is quite so ungracious, and they all return outside. Jeff has Leslie explains that she only puts her face on the ground for Jesus. Hey, Leslie: Jesus called, but he didn't say anything. I just heard this slow clap. What do you suppose that means? Anyway, Jeff explains that a big part of Buddhism is ridding yourself of your stuff, and what that means for them is that it's a "start with the clothes on your back" season. Ashley (the wrestler) has enormously impractical multi-buckle boots on, which were a ridiculous choice in the first place, whether she anticipated being stuck in them or not, while another young blonde (this will be...Jaime, I think?) points out that she has no bra on. Probst grossly har-hars about how maybe that will help her and make her "very popular." Har-har! Dirty old man. But seriously, folks: at no point in your Survivor experience should you be (1) braless; or (2) in stripper boots. It's kind of a rule.
Jeff divides the tribes by just handing out buffs, which is pretty unambitious as a way to divide people, compared to, say, race wars. The yellow tribe includes Frosti (seriously, that's his name, and he's a teeny little young athletic dude), Dave (who can't seem to figure out which way his...buff goes?), Braless Jamie, Erik the Cute Musician, Peih-Gee, Ashley, Chicken (the chicken farmer, you might recall), and Sherea. They're called Zhan Hu. The red Fei Long tribe is Jean-Robert the professional poker player, Leslie the Buddha-Free Zone, Amanda (er...who?), Courtney the monk-hating waitress, Denise the lunch lady, James the GRAAAAAVEDIGGER!, teeny Todd the gay flight attendant, and Completely Generic Aaron, the bartender/surfing instructor. Woooo!
Amanda ("Hiking Guide") thinks James and Aaron will be great to have on her team. Honestly, there are quite a lot of buff dudes here, so I'm not sure anyone is going to go hungry on that front. Jeff describes the rules of the game, and then tells them that "the single greatest document in the history of strategy was written by the Chinese," and if you don't know that he's going to say Art Of War, then you don't know nearly enough middle-aged douches in the Jeff Probst mold, because he totally does. Read it on this bamboo scroll, dude! It's totally illuminating on the subject of negotiating your residuals. Shut up, Probst. He promises them that The Art Of War contains wisdom that will help them win, and then he hands out maps and sends the teams to their boats.