A Chicken's A Little Bit Smarter

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
A Chicken's A Little Bit Smarter

Jeff welcomes the group and tells them that before the game, they will participate in a ceremony in the temple. He carefully tells them that this is not a religious ceremony; it's not worship. This is merely a welcoming ceremony. When it's over, they should come back out into the courtyard where he's briefing them now. As the ceremony progresses with chanting and bowing, Denise ("School Lunch Lady") tells us that it was very moving for her. Denise is working an absolutely crazy-ass mullet, I tell you what. It's not even "business up front; party in the rear." It's more like "prison up front; Katie Holmes in the rear." But lest you underestimate her, I must point out that her bio lists one of her hobbies as "stick fighting." Zoiks. Anyway, as New York waitress Courtney eye-rolls and smirks her way through the ceremony, the monk beside her continually reaches over to place her hands in the right positions, which only makes her smirk more. Stupid monks! In China! Stupid Chinese monks! She interviews that she just wanted to leave and drink lemonade. Two possibilities: (1) she'll eventually regret this; or (2) she never will. Equally sad.

The big news of the ceremony is that Leslie ("Christian Radio Host") announces in an interview that she just couldn't stay, because "in the Bible, it says 'thou shalt not bow down before any other gods.'" Interestingly, that's not what mine says. It says not to have other gods. In my version, it's not about bowing, it's about belief...but then, I've never really believed that God was primarily a choreographer. Anyhoo, Leslie decides that even though the people whose religion this would theoretically be are telling her that this is not a religious ceremony (similar to nuns telling you that the bake sale, while taking place in the church, is not a church service), it simply is, because of the bowing. Well, it's not like a Buddhist is in a position to explain Buddhism to a Christian. Seriously, y'all, I would think Christians would be the first ones to hate seeing this lady cast, because she's making everybody else look like such a patoot by association. She then actually cries in self-pity over how "hard" it was for her. Unbelievable. What the hell is it about reality-show people freaking out in Buddhist temples, anyway?

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